One In The Hand

Sometimes It's Good to Make a Plan

2012-02-07T06:53:00.000-08:00

Things I Hope To Write About, So Don’t Let Me Forget

Why it’s important to model anti-racist beliefs for your kids, (why it's not enough to just talk about them). How you, as a parent who might live in a racially homogenous area, can develop genuine relationships with people outside of your race. How you can normalize other races for your kids.

Music albums that have made a big impact in my life.

The way we all forgive our favorite public figures more easily (even when they do our most hated thing) than we forgive those we don’t like from the beginning.

Conservative Christians and my frustration with them not calling out their political leaders for doing stuff that is a slap in the face of their faith.

Some of the reasons I am no longer a devout Christian. This one will probably be about the gays.

The Word of Faith movement in Christianity. Spoiler: NOT A FAN.

Me and social media: my journey during the last few years and where I’m headed next.

Library Haul

2012-02-06T05:00:00.000-08:00

The Reservoir by John M. Thompson

Review from Amazon: On an early spring morning in Richmond, Virginia, in the year 1885, a young pregnant woman is found floating in the city reservoir. It appears that she has committed suicide, but there are curious clues at the scene that suggest foul play. The case attracts local attention, and an eccentric group of men collaborate to solve the crime. Detective Jack Wren lurks in the shadows, weaseling his way into the investigation and intimidating witnesses. Policeman Daniel Cincinnatus Richardson, on the brink of retirement, catches the case and relentlessly pursues it to its sorrowful conclusion. As the identity of the girl, Lillie, is revealed, her dark family history comes to light, and the investigation focuses on her tumultuous affair with Tommie Cluverius.

Tommie, an ambitious young lawyer, is the pride and joy of his family and the polar opposite of his brother Willie, a quiet, humble farmer. Though both men loved Lillie, it’s Tommie’s reckless affair that thrusts his family into the spotlight. With Lillie dead, Willie must decide how far to trust Tommie, and whether he ever understood him at all. Told through accumulating revelations, Tommie’s story finally ends in a riveting courtroom
climax.

Based on a true story, The Reservoir centers on a guilty and passionate love triangle composed of two very different brothers and one young, naive girl hiding an unspeakable secret. A novel of lust, betrayal, justice, and revenge, The Reservoir ultimately probes the question of whether we can really know the hearts and minds of others, even of those closest to us.

Solomon’s Oak by Jo-Ann Mapson

Review from Amazon: Glory Solomon, a young widow, holds tight to her memories while she struggles to hold on to her Central California farm. She makes ends meet by hosting weddings in the chapel her husband had built under their two-hundred-year-old white oak tree, known locally as Solomon's Oak. Fourteen-year-old Juniper McGuire is the lone survivor of a family decimated by her sister's disappearance. She arrives on Glory's doorstep, pierced, tattooed, angry, and homeless. When Glory's husband Dan was alive, they took in foster children, but Juniper may be more than she can handle alone. Joseph Vigil is a former Albuquerque police officer and crime lab photographer who was shot during a meth lab bust that took the life of his best friend. Now disabled and in constant pain, he arrives in California to fulfill his dream of photographing the state's giant trees, including Solomon's Oak.

In Jo-Ann Mapson's deeply felt, wise, and gritty novel, these three broken souls will find in each other an unexpected comfort, the bond of friendship, and a second chance to see the miracles of everyday life.

Once Upon A Quinceañera: Coming of Age in the USA by Julia Alvarez

Review from Amazon: The quinceañera, a celebration of a Latina girl’s fifteenth birthday, has become a uniquely American trend. This lavish party with ball gowns, multi-tiered cakes, limousines, and extravagant meals is often as costly as a prom or a wedding. But many Latina girls feel entitled to this rite of passage, marking a girl’s entrance into womanhood, and expect no expense to be spared, even in working-class families. Acclaimed author Julia Alvarez explores the history and cultural significance of the “quince” in the United States, and the consequences of treating teens like princesses. Through her observations of a quince in Queens, interviews with other quince girls, and the memories of her own experience as a young immigrant, Alvarez presents a thoughtful and entertaining portrait of a rapidly growing multicultural phenomenon, and passionately emphasizes the importance of celebrating Latina womanhood.

Beat of a Different Drum: The Untold Stories of African Americans Forging Their Own Paths in Work and Life by Dax-Devlon Ross

Review from Amazon: In a series of insightful, probing interviews, Dax-Devlon Ross gives voice to the less-acknowledged realms of the black experience – and gives us all new role models of courage, iconoclasm, and creativity. Ross, an inner-city schoolteacher who eschewed a career in law, became aware of the need for a book like this one when he came to his own career crossroads. To write it, he crisscrossed the country and even traveled to Europe, talking to black Americans who have stepped outside their comfort zones – and found lives that no one had ever imagined they’d lead. In BEAT OF A DIFFERENT DRUM, you’ll meet:

Lisa Stevens, the zoo curator who cares for the pandas at the National Zoo

Johnathon Lee Iverson, the first black Ringling Brothers Circus ringleader

Jair Lynch, an Olympic athlete and real estate entrepreneur

James McLurkin, an inventor and robotics researcher

Ray Hill, a brewmeister who left a lucrative career to start his own beer company

Uchenna Smith, who, at 25, began running her own school with the KIPP-Sankofa program

Jake Lamar, an expatriate novelist

Mike Ladd, an M.C., producer, and professor

Bill Collins, a former Principal turned sailor turned world-renowned chef

Stacey Barney, a schoolteacher turned book editor

. . . as well as many others, each of whose stories has something unique to teach us about the search for meaning in one’s lifework, and the challenges that we must still face when we march to the beat of a different drum.

What are you reading?

Ron Paul’s Ghost-writer Revealed: It’s the Honey Badger!

2012-02-03T05:02:00.000-08:00

A while back in the GOP primary campaign, some of Ron Paul’s old newsletters resurfaced again, which has happened several times as he’s gone through different campaigns. They are nasty things, full of horrid and blatant racist statements (plus a lot of Dude It’s Totally Cool to Stockpile Weapons For Our War Against The Government, Let Me Tell You How To Do It Without The Feds Finding Out pro-militia stuff) and hateful stuff towards homosexuals, people with AIDs, Muslims and more. I realize that I am way late to speak on this – the story is basically dead and it doesn’t seem to matter now anyway because he’s not going to win the GOP nomination. I can’t imagine that he will ever be our President. Still, there is a point that I haven’t seen anyone discuss (or maybe I just haven’t read extensively enough) that I wanted to go into a bit.

A couple of disclaimers –

1) He has acknowledged that others ghost-wrote for him, he made statements of being very saddened by the things that were written in his name, and he has apologized for those things appearing in his newsletters.

2) On a variety of issues (though not on all of them), I agree with Ron Paul. Because of his personality, I used to like Ron Paul. In the last election, I think, I appreciated both Ron Paul and Mike Huckabee for certain things (just like I appreciated Dennis Kucinich, crazy ass Mike Gravel and in the most recent primaries, Hunstman). I like politicians who aren’t 100% party-line and those who seem genuine. I like the guys who aren’t the slickest campaigners.

Having given those disclaimers, here’s why I don’t buy his excuses of ghost-writers-gone-rogue, and I don’t buy his apologies.

If I had a newsletter – the Ashley Ray newsletter – that I wrote sometimes, and that others wrote for sometimes – it would be understandable to assume that what is represented in those newsletters is what I agree with, right? What would happen if someone who was writing on my behalf, unbeknownst to me, wrote some terribly racist things, and then the newsletter was published?

Do you think that the people reading the newsletter would notice?

Do you think that the people who work with and for me would notice?

Do you think someone would think it was odd that suddenly some statements are being published in my newsletter that are 100% contrary to my actual beliefs?

Do you think they would say something to me?

Do you think I would hire someone to write for me that had those sort of beliefs?

If the Ashley Ray newsletter said all those terrible things, I know without a doubt that the people who read it would RUSH to me and want to know what was going on. They would be concerned because obviously I don’t believe those things.

What I think is – Ron Paul employed people who held these beliefs. If he didn’t approve what was written & truly had no knowledge of them beforehand, he employed people whose belief in these things were so strong that they felt bold enough to put them in their employer’s newsletter. That is a really bold thing to do, right?

And after it happened – did readers freak out? I don’t know. Did they contact Ron Paul and tell him they were disgusted with what was written? I don’t know. Did his other employees freak out and alert him? I don’t know.

What I do know is that the newsletters didn’t stop. They went on for YEARS AND YEARS. We’re supposed to believe that issue after issue, there was a perfect storm of:

· Crazy ghost-writers

· Inattentive employees

· Readers who don’t actually read

He had no idea and no one – not his friends, family, employees, community nor supporters thought anything was amiss. If the Ashley Ray newsletter published that bullshit ONCE – I’d have people tripping over themselves to find out what in the world had happened because there is no way the Ashley THEY knew would write something like that. And if it continued, issue after issue? I’d lose my supporters. The people who faithfully read what I write DISAGREE WITH THAT BULLSHIT AND WOULD NOT WANT TO KEEP READING IT. They could no longer, in good conscience, support me.

My guess is – whether he knew about it or not – no one thought it was amiss because it DID represent what he believed. The ghost-writer felt ok saying that stuff because he knew it was what his boss believed. He continued to write it because he was not fired or even told to simply STOP IT. People did not think anything was amiss because HE BELIEVES IT AND THEY BELIEVE IT TOO.

And if somehow, the perfect storm really did happen? Ron Paul needs to find new friends, family, employees, community and supporters.

He's From Kansas, Too

2012-01-30T11:15:00.000-08:00

I don't have a lot to say today. I spent the weekend realizing my crush on Jason Sudeikis. Here he is in full glory. Red track suit. Commence daydream makeout session.

I stole this from Laura who stole it from someone else. She has really good taste in men.

Also? Look at Lindsay Buckingham. He is so pissed. "This crap happens EVERY TIME!"

Oh, LIFE

2012-01-26T12:28:00.001-08:00

I just need to document some recent wonkiness:

· Some people I know are upset about something so they decided to create a new email account to have their Secret Angry Discussion. They chose to set up a Yahoo email account. I find that hilarious.

· I watched this short film about women’s bodies after birth, thought about my own issues with my post-baby body and ended up crying at my desk. Yay!

· Student asked to sing at this year’s commencement ceremony and I had to tell her no and she thinks it’s personal and it’s not. It’s logistical. Like Honey Badger, She Really Doesn’t Give A Shit.

· Rude faculty is rude. Again. This time I stood up for myself (professionally and politely, but firmly). I’m so thankful to have a boss who supports me when this stuff goes down.

· Program Chair insists that I am a notary. He is so certain! Nope, I’m not. No, really. I’m not. I’m also not a secretary (a term he is still using) and can I say, President Obama, that I loved your SOTU but why are you still calling people secretaries? I get that it was probably easier to say than “Administrative Assistant” but dude you just gave a bazillion old school executives ammo in their argument with their ADMINISTRATIVE ASSISTANT that they should be able to still call them secretaries.

· Forgot a bowl at home (again) so warmed up my chicken noodle soup in cups . . . and then, in my attempt to transfer the broth of one cup to another, poured it into my coffee.

· I wish my husband didn’t hate social media, he’d be an amazing live-tweeter. You should have heard him during the State Of The Union.

· Today’s post on Handmade Ryan Gosling is super popular. Clearly, crafty ladies of the world like to be told we’re sexy even though we haven’t showered in a couple days.

· Last but surely not least (I’m here another 3 hours so we’ll see what other fun ensues): Downton Abbey tumblrs for you!

o Downton Abbeyonce

o Downton Abbey Lamps

o Arrested Downton

o Downton Pawnee

o Downton A Train

When Going Back to the Land Isn’t an Option

2012-01-23T05:11:00.000-08:00

I’ve mentioned a few times on ye olde blogge that a while back, I was very interested in a “natural” lifestyle. Heck, even over in my profile bio on the right, I mention that in my daydreams, I live on a ranch. Well, a few years ago, from around 2006 to 2008, wanting to live a “back to the land” lifestyle was a very strong desire of mine.

Recently an online friend blogged about something similar – seeing the positive qualities in a simpler life, a more natural life, a slower lifestyle. She admitted that she probably romanticized it but that it still looked appealing. I noticed many commenters agreeing, saying they felt the same way. I jokingly commented that she sounded like I did, a few years ago. She responded and asked what I did about it, and here’s what I told her:

I made certain small changes to our lifestyle, and honestly, I kind of grew out of it because it wasn't a dream that was to become a reality for me anytime soon. :/
My husband wasn't interested (especially in the back-to-the-land stuff - he's a city/suburbs guy) so without buy-in from him, it wasn't going to happen, you know? And because of that I just kind of let it go and began focusing on other things. I get my "fix" in other ways - spending more time outside, eating better, doing creative things with the kids, watching Frontier House on PBS, ha!
Something I've noticed about myself is that I will get really gung ho about something that interests me, and I'll think that I need to change my whole life to look like whatever that interest is. What I'm still learning is that maybe "tweaks" are what I really need. Maybe I don't need to homeschool and make all my food from scratch and raise chickens and live on a farm sustained with electricity from our windmill and become a midwife . . . maybe what I'm feeling is really a pull to spend more time with my kids on what they're learning from this world . . . make better food choices and start a container garden . . . cut costs and make eco friendly choices in my suburban townhouse . . . tell my friends about great pregnancy and birth resources and let them know I'm available with a non-judgmental ear if they need to vent or need advice. Maybe I can use my interest to advocate on behalf of people who need a lot more of these things in their lives but have even less access than I do - people who live in food deserts, people who have only ever been told that birth is a terrifying, painful thing to leave up to a hospital staff, people who have so little chance to visit a zoo or forest or farm, or even just a park.
I'm still interested in all those things and love to see, read, hear, talk about them . . . but in their full-blown form they don't work for me. Doesn't mean I can't incorporate some of their important principles and aspects into my life!

Do you do this? Do you get really excited about something, learn a lot about it, and think you must change your whole lifestyle to be happy? Have you actually done it? If so, how did it work out? Are you like me – it takes a while but eventually you understand that perhaps a radical change isn’t in order, but smaller changes are?

What are things you thought you needed, and it turned out maybe you just needed to make some tweaks?

Why I Must Never Divorce

2012-01-17T05:49:00.000-08:00

(29 years ago, wait, what, 29 years? 29? I was walking around and eating solid foods that many years ago?) - My first boyfriend was in kindergarten. We went to the same daycare so between it and school, we were with each other for hours each day.

There was an area in our classroom set up to play house. He and I sat on the (toy) bed, it broke, I used to tell this story as thought it was a dirty joke when I was a few years older, what is wrong with me.

We were playing hide and seek and he kissed me. He told me he would give me his sister’s Barbie house and car. He moved away.

(22 years ago) - I saw him at a pizza place in 6th grade. He didn’t notice me and I was glad. And mad.

(20 years ago) - I saw him in 8th grade at someone’s graduation. He didn’t notice me and I was just mad. I was really cute that day.

(17 years ago) - He came to my high school our junior year, we never spoke. I did glare at his locker a couple times. Surely.

(6 years ago) - I helped plan our 10-year high school reunion. We started an online community and he participated and had no idea who I was. I figured making a scene might discourage people from attending and I reminded myself that the *internet is forever*.

Nod to Melissa Beck for the *reminder*.

Handmade Ryan Honorable Mentions

2012-01-16T05:46:00.000-08:00

We get a lot of submissions to Handmade Ryan that have nothing to do with crafting or handmade business, so we don’t post them. Some of them are funny, though, so I thought I’d share them here.

Hey Girl, you're home. I know how busy you've been so I took your latest recipe post and made it for the two of us, god I hope that's OK?

What is this woman doing to poor Handmade Ryan to have him so scared of trying something without her permission?

Hey girl. I don't know why they're not reviewing. Your latest fanfic chapter was epic.

Can you imagine the RG fanfic out there? I mean, don’t most of us have a running RG fanfic storyline in our head at all times?

Hey girl, Let's go to the Beastie Boys concert so I can gaze at you with love while you rap like the white girl you are.

Um . . . *peeks out my window* . . . do I know you? Like, personally? *whispers* Can you hear me? I am simultaneously in love with and completely terrified by you.

Hey girl, now tell me, was that cake really better than sex?

Well, I don’t know. Was it carrot cake?

Hey girl. You don't have to make dinner. I'll just sit here watching you play Words with Friends.

Thanks, babe. God, my friends just kick my ass at this game. And I thought I had a good vocabulary!

hey girl, could you go out and buy some more shampoos and conditioners? The 12 other brands we have aren't leaving my hair as shiny and soft as I thought they would

I would do it, too. I would buy him more shampoo and conditioner.

Hey Girl, I don't feel like having sex tonight. Could we just lay in bed and watch The Real Housewives together?

No, Handmade Ryan. That is simply not an option. I advise you to get cracking.

Hey Girl, I would never put an empty box of cereal back on the shelf, you know I wouldn't do that to you.

Those damn kids.

Hey Girl, I know it's late and you have cramps. Let me run to the drugstore and get you tampons, midol, and chocolate, you know I would love to do that for you

Handmade Ryan, you are the best pretend boyfriend I have ever had.

Hey girl, go ahead and put your fat pants on, I'll clean up the dishes.

*cackles*

What Do You Miss?

2012-01-12T07:50:00.001-08:00

I miss spending time face to face with girlfriends.

I miss the meditative, calming aspects of prayer and Biblical study and the mercy, kindness and hopeful parts of myself that don’t get called to the surface naturally very often but did via my faith. I miss the kinder, more compassionate, less angry me that I was when I was centered in religious faith. I know I can be that person again but my entire life I did it one way and now I’m not sure where to find the inspiration.

I miss exploring the outdoors for hours – climbing trees and logs and hills

I miss my old fashion sense. I used to be cute and funky and a little hip and preppy and sporty and country. I mixed it all up.

I miss going to concerts, big and small.

I miss my family (the ones I grew up with, not the family I made – I see their lovely faces daily).

I miss the way you feel making out with someone before you’ve had sex. Remember the anticipation, the danger?

I miss dancing every day for hours, because I had to and because I wanted to. I miss leaps and turns and choreography. I miss my old body. I miss the way you walk around all day feeling normal and it’s not until you get to practice and begin stretching, that you notice how tight you’ve been since practice the day before. I miss the floppy, warm feeling your muscles have after stretching and before dancing. I miss knowing a dance so well that your body just takes over and you enjoy it and you PERFORM.

I miss swimming all summer. I miss swimming, period.

I miss my certainty.

I miss the pages-long emails my best friend and I used to send each other. About faith and marriage and parenting and family and old friends and funny things and childbirth and everything we ever thought to think about. I miss my best friend.

I miss when reading an email meant I’d get the work done that day. I miss not having anxiety over my inbox – personal and professional.

Review: The Business of Being Born

2012-01-10T07:02:00.000-08:00

Everyone on the planet (or on Twitter) is talking about Blue Ivy Carter (Jay-Z and Beyonce's new daughter, if you didn't know) (and if you didn't know, you are not on Twitter, right?) . . . which has led to a variety of discussions online and in person that I've either participated in or followed along with.

Because: I don't have anything else to post AND because the discussions are making me think of it AND because probably only one person read it when I first posted it . . . . here is my review of the movie The Business of Being Born.

Enjoy, disagree, whatever. I'd love to know what you think about it, whether you've had babies or deliver babies or have only heard of babies.

And This Is Why I Love The Internet

2012-01-09T05:11:00.000-08:00

Rut Roh, White Girls!!

2012-01-05T10:23:00.000-08:00

Have you seen @Chescaleigh's video, "Shit White Girls Say . . . to Black Girls"? It's hilarious and true and good for conversations!

So what do you think - have you said or done any of this stuff?

I certainly have, most recently using the word HOLLA!!! a lot. Like, A LOT. Of course, I actually say "holla" and not "holler". ;)

You can see more funny videos by Franchesca here, or check her out elsewhere:

Blog - Twitter - Facebook

Just One Of Those Days . . .

2012-01-03T14:54:00.000-08:00

Today was my first day back at work after almost three weeks of vacation. I knew it was going to be difficult to get my brain into “work” mode again, but I’ve been surprised at how hard it’s been for me to stay positive today.

I think I’m dealing with a combination of the following:

· Not many people have come back to work yet so it’s a little lonely

· My office is freezing

· I heard the sad news of someone’s death

· I spoke with someone about their job loss & difficulty finding new work, the financial stress they’re dealing with – double whammy of wishing I could help them and wondering when/if I will be in their shoes

· People online are being really shady and just not cool in a variety of ways

· The lunch I made wasn’t very good so I’m really hungry which sends my crankiness through the roof

· I forgot my hat, scarf, gloves, so walking to/from the train wasn’t & won’t be fun today – it is freezing outside & the wind is bananas

· I didn’t get much sleep last night – lack of sleep & food make me sooooo not happy

· I miss my husband and kids. I got used to being around them 24/7.

I know this wasn’t a shiny, happy post, but sometimes your day just doesn’t go that way! I’m looking forward to getting on my train and going home to see my family. Tomorrow is a new day!

Stop Being a Jerk About Vaccinations

2011-12-31T12:01:00.001-08:00

So, I’m going to write about vaccinating your kids . . . and not vaccinating your kids. I’m not going to try to convince you to do one or the other. I am, however, going to ask you to dial down the snark when you come across a parent who chooses not to vaccinate their kids.

My kids are 12, 10 and 4 years old. When the oldest two were babies, I never once questioned whether or not they should receive vaccinations. Everyone got them and I didn’t know anyone who hadn’t – I didn’t even know that there were people who chose to opt out of vaccinating their kids, or that there were laws to allow parents to do so. It was a non-issue for me.

During the years my two kids were very young, I gained a huge interest in a “natural living” lifestyle, a non-traditional lifestyle. I read about and became friends with people who farmed in the city, made their own clothes, homeschooled their kids, made all their food from scratch. I also began learning a lot more about pregnancy and childbirth, and all the politics and issues surrounding natural birthing methods vs. managed, medicated births. If I’d had my way, we’d have moved to a farm where I could live out my “back to the land” fantasies and my kids could roam the outdoors and become BFFs with the wildlife.

At the same time, I was learning more about Autism, including the belief of some that certain vaccines are likely to cause Autism. In addition to everything I was reading online and the people I saw in the media, I knew someone whose son is on the Autism spectrum, and she believes his Autism is linked to his vaccinations. She’s no hippie – in fact she was a successful mental health professional with a very traditional lifestyle.

When I became pregnant with our third kid, I became determined that I would not repeat some of the mistakes I’d made with my pregnancies and births and early parenting, with my older two kids. Now, I didn’t have any major mistakes I was grieving over, but I felt that maybe I’d dodged a bullet on certain things. Like vaccinations & Autism. So I began looking more into the Autism/vaccination connection and read some really compelling stuff. What impacted me even more than the possibility of vaccines leading to Autism was how vaccinations had increased so dramatically over the years. Kids today get A LOT of shots, y’all.

So Ashley + natural living + having another baby + current events = ASHLEY IS SCARED LIKE WHOA OF VACCINES.

When our son was born and due for his first round of shots, I expressed my concerns to his Dr., who talked to me like I was an idiot. I’m sure he gets tired of explaining his point of view to freaked out parents, but guess what? That’s his job! I was told that he would no longer keep my son as a patient if I didn’t let him get vaccines. At this point, I hadn’t even said to him that I refused to do it – I’d told him about what I’d been learning, and that I was scared.

We compromised – our son would get his vaccinations, but he would receive a certain one (the one that is rumored to be the Autism culprit) later than the CDC schedule recommends and he would only receive vaccines that were free of mercury or Thimerosal (which contains mercy). The mercury/Thimerosal thing wasn’t an issue because most vaccine manufacturers had begun removing these preservatives anyway because of the possible links to bad reactions/side effects. This was required by the CDC.

At a later date, when I was at the Dr’s office for my baby son’s checkup and shots, the nurse was telling me about the vaccines he’d be getting that day and mentioned one I wasn’t familiar with. I asked what it was, and she again repeated the name. I asked again and she then explained that it was a “super booster” which combined five different vaccines into one shot. Combining vaccinations into one shot isn’t new to vaccines, but this specific combination was new to me, though I was familiar with the vaccines, in their individual form. I asked why they’d been combined, and was told that it was recommended by the CDC.

So reader, I have a question – if something is recommended by the CDC, the people who make the final call on what vaccines are important for our society – would you assume that the CDC recommended something that was medically necessary? I did.

I asked why it was recommended (and mind you, I wasn’t being a jerk about it – I was curious and wanted to be informed) and the nurse sighed and went to get the Dr. The Dr. told me that the CDC sets the vaccination schedule (i.e. your baby gets the MMR shot at XX months old, your baby gets the chicken pox shot a XX years old, etc) to coincide with well-child visits (when you’re supposed to take your kid to the Dr. whether they’re sick or not, to see how they’re doing developmentally) so that kids would actually get their shots. If parents have to make a different appointment just to bring their kid in for shots, the appointment often doesn’t get made or is skipped, and the kid gets behind on their shots. So the CDC schedule is more about making sure the kids GET the shots, than the medical necessity of having shots on a certain timeline.

I.E. there was NO medical necessity for my baby to have a shot that combined 5 different vaccines into one. I don’t know how long that particular combination had been manufactured, but it wasn’t around 6 years before when I’d had my last baby – so at most, there was 6 years of research tracking how this type of super booster impacted the health of children who received it.

I didn’t like that and I didn’t like that I had to ask and ask and be treated like I was an annoyance to get this information. So I asked if it was possible for my kid to get those shots individually the way my older kids had. Again with the sighing and tone of annoyance – but yes, they could do it, I’d just need to schedule extra appointments and they’d have to postpone the first shot because they now only carried the super booster and didn’t have the individual shots any more, they’d have to order them.

Since then, this has pretty much not been an issue. My kid gets his shots, he doesn’t have Autism, and I’ve followed along as the debate continues to rage between the Vaccines-Cause-Autism/No-It-Doesn’t camps. I thought of this all again because recently on Twitter, a friend tweeted about asking her kid’s pediatrician whether a vaccine contained mercury, and the Dr. said he had no idea and didn’t know how to tell. And then when they figured out, it turned out the vaccine did have mercury!

Now, consider the history of medicine and pharmaceuticals, in the U.S. alone. Have we not - over and over – learned of things that the medical community thought were not only safe, but good for you, that turned out to be horribly unsafe and bad for you? To the tune of birth defects, genetic mutation, irreversible damage and death? This stuff is still happening today – a new drug comes out on the market and it either takes a while for it to be fine-tuned (even after approval from the FDA) or it is later recalled for dangerous side effects? Have we not seen examples of the healthcare industry making decisions that were bad for people but good for profits? Have we not seen people try to hide the damage they’ve done because it will cost them everything if they were discovered?

Medicine and our modern healthcare industry has done amazing things to better the lives of people around the world. They get SO much right. But who can argue that they never get it wrong? Within the last 100 years we thought the answer to mental illness was lobotomy. We put pregnant women into twilight sleep to give birth. We have seen the rise of pharmaceutical companies and the massive amount of wealth they generate. Doctors used to tell heart attack patients to use margerine, it was supposed to be healthier for them than butter. This was only 20 years ago, folks! So knowing all of that, why is it so outlandish that parents might be concerned with the increase in vaccines, and possible links between vaccines and other illnesses?

As I said in the beginning, I am not trying to make an argument that one should or should not vaccinate their kids. I do wish, though, that when people hear of someone who isn’t vaccinating their kids, they will have more compassion. I know a lot of people who don’t vaccinate their kids and they aren’t stupid, or uninformed. They aren’t careless (including with the health of others), they aren’t narrow-minded and unable to consider opinions outside of their worldview. I’ll tell you the truth – most parents I know do vaccinate their kids and most of them don’t give it a second thought and haven’t done a MINUTE of research into what’s being pumped into their kids. Those I know who don’t vaccinate – without exception - researched the hell out of all of this stuff before they made the decision. Yet they’re treated – without having been asked about their personal circumstances – as the irresponsible ones. I don’t think that’s fair.

I did it!

2011-12-28T22:28:00.001-08:00

I told you I'd let you see my hair once I got it cut, so here it is. I'll try to post pics of the back sometime soon.

This is a messy look - I've had it this short before & it's fun. I can straighten it for a sleek bob, sculpt it & push it off my face, wear it in tight curls or wear it mess & wavy.

What I Did On My Winter Vacation, Pt. 2

2011-12-27T13:29:00.001-08:00

I played Dominos and Uno with the family . . . and never won! What’s up with that?!

I did a LOT of knitting – mostly new cozies, but a few headbands and phone cozies as well. This is just a small sample.

I took photos of my daughter modeling my new knitted headbands . . . she’s so pretty. :)

I stood at our patio door or bedroom window and just stared at the pretty field behind our house. This is where the doggie playdates go down.

I hung out in my daughter’s room and watched movies with her, while knitting. And reading. And watching the 4 year old jump into my shots.

I also watched him dance around her room, always in front of her mirror.

I took photos of the fabric I’m hoping to destash and sell.

I enjoyed our colorful Christmas tree. I think trees with white lights are so beautiful and classy, but trees with colored lights make me think of my childhood, and I just love them the most.

I went to the library a couple times. Not pictured here are the 37,000 anime DVDs my daughter checked out.

I got inspired to do something crafty and cool with boxes . . . can’t wait to finish these and show them off!

I wondered why I found my camera in my bed, with no battery life left. Hmmm . . .

OH HAI, CULPRIT! I SEE YOUR LITTLE 4-YEAR-OLD FEET. And the 29 blurry photos of your WWE “action fingers”.

More to come!

What I Did On My Winter Vacation Pt. 1

2011-12-25T14:44:00.001-08:00

I spied on the people who have doggie playdates in the big field behind our house. Usually there’s only 2 people and Vincent and I think they might be flirting with each other while their dogs play. It’s a little doggie playdate soap opera for us.

Oops, they saw me. Right after I snapped this shot, they all turned and waved.

I did a crap job wrapping presents. To quote my friend Black Girl In Maine, “Like the honey badger, I just don’t care”.

I said, “Why did someone dump all my old CDs out on the – OOH, CRANBERRIES!!”

I played outside in the only snowfall so far, with the 4 year old.

Here he’s looking at Vincent who is telling him to throw a snowball at me.

And now he runs from me.

Back at home, he shows us his best John Cena.

And then he looks cute some more.

I got some mail from Etsy! What?!

It’s an eco-friendly tote bag . . .

. . . and a little note thanking me for my work as a team captain (WHATUP CHICAGO STYLE CRAFTERS).

Dunno if Etsy knows I’m stepping down as team captain. Staying on the team, just letting others take the reins.

I organized and purged a lot of sewing/knitting/Etsy stuff. One day, I will learn how to sew from a pattern and will make one of those cute wrap tops.

I’ll be posting more of what I’ve been doing on my winter vacation . . . Did you get to take any time off? What have you been doing?

Upstairs, Downstairs

2011-12-21T13:56:00.001-08:00

Recently I began watching the BBC series Downton Abbey, which is about an aristocratic family and their servants, in the early 1900s English countryside. The series shows both the “upstairs” world – the aristrocrats, their family problems, who they brush shoulders with – and the “downstairs” world – the servants who work for the family. Many times, the two worlds connect and that’s when the most fun happens.

This isn’t a new theme in film and television. The 1970s gave us the BBC series Upstairs, Downstairs, which has a similar storyline, except that the family (the Bellamys) in this series is based in London. There are a couple movies that focus on this master/servant dynamic – Gosford Park

and The Remains of the Day are a couple I love. Oh, Anthony Hopkins and Emma Thompson WHY DON’T YOU JUST ADMIT YOU LOVE EACH OTHER I CAN’T TAKE IT!!!

BBC created a sequel to the first Upstairs, Downstairs – I checked out the DVDs from my library and have been watching a new family settle into the old Bellamy house. If you’re familiar with the original series, you may like to know that Rose, the housekeeper, returns to the sequel (set 40 years later, amidst King Edward’s abdication of his throne).

PBS also has a series called Manor House. I’ve written about it before – modern-day people choose to spend a few months actually LIVING an Upstairs, Downstairs life. Some participants are given roles as aristocrats, some as servants. You can’t break role, you have to behave as those people would have. I was finally able to put this sucker on hold through the library and I hope it’ll arrive at my local branch in time for me to watch it while I’m still on vacation.

What I need now? Books that dig into these worlds. I’ve got one book on hold, a non-fiction that looks at the lives of people these series and movies were based on . . . but I want some fiction, too! Not just stories that happen to have servants, but stories that focus on the details and relationships of the two worlds.

Any suggestions?

The Handmade Ryan Team

2011-12-15T11:01:00.001-08:00

Did you know I’m not the only person behind Handmade Ryan Gosling? It’s true! When I started it, a whole WEEK AGO (what? really? only 7 days ago?), I wrote to 3 handmade friends and asked if they would help me come up with ideas. They jumped right in and began pumping out some of the funniest shit ever. And then they told their friends. And y’all, they have a lot of friends.

The blog began taking off and I went to these ladies for advice on certain things, like “Three people have sent me the same thing, should I try to combine them?” and “I don’t really want to link to people’s shops, that’s cool, right?” and they were so helpful and full of wisdom.

And then the blog REALLY began taking off and I got a lot of solo recognition for it . . . well, because my name was the only one on it. I changed that, but still a lot of people were just giving me all the credit. Things have changed – the names listed on the blog have been updated, the work we’re doing on the blog has changed and now this is clearly not just a solo gig – we’re a team.

Now, as I’ve said before, we’re not curing cancer here. But you’d be surprised (or maybe you wouldn’t) at how much time, organization and consideration must be given to doing something like this well. So we’ve got our ducks in a row and are ready to give you the best darn rootin’ tootin’ Handmade Ryan Gosling meme you’ve ever seen!

I think it’s time that you met the ladies!

Lily

I met Lily when taking a knitting lesson from Allyson (more about her later). Lily knits LIKE WHOA and is also a dancer opening up her own company in the near future (I predict Handmade Ryan dance parties – why not?)! Also? She cracks me up and has a cute nose ring. You can read Lily’s blog and follow her on Twitter.

Katie

I actually only met Katie in person this week, but became Twitter friends with her a while back after stalking her a bit. She’s buds with Lily and Allyson (I SAID, more about her later, dang). Katie is an actress and very soon will be moving to LA to make it big, y’all! If she meets Ryan first it’s understood that the rest of us get a crack at him too. Just sayin’. Anyway – Katie does a lot of different crafty things but what I love most is her embroidery. Katie has a blog, an Etsy shop and a Twitter, too!

Allyson

I told you we’d get to her! I can’t remember how I came across Allyson on Twitter, but I did. I think I was initially captivated by her name – The Sweatshop of Love – but then fell in love with her hilarity. I took a knitting lesson from her and the rest was history. Allyson sells her knitted creations and patterns and also teaches all kinds of knitting. She is a machine, I tell you. A sports-watching, state-hopping machine (she splits her time between Minneapolis and Chicago). You can read her blog (where she also sells stuff), check out her Etsy shop and follow her on Twitter.

Enjoy getting to know these fine ladies!

Hold Me

2011-12-12T15:41:00.000-08:00

Thoughts I’m having while all this Handmade Ryan fever is going around:

~ I wonder how long it will take for this to jump the shark and get annoying?

~ I wonder if I’ll ever get hate mail. That would probably make me cry. Don't do it, meanies!

~ I already need to cut down on my Twitter time, but now all these awesome people are following me. I want to follow some of them back, but that will make it even harder for me to keep up with the people I'm currently following. Damnit! Looks like a purge is in order.

~ I actually recognize certain quirks of his face now. I’ve seen it So. Many. Times.

~ It’s really freaking exciting when everyone is talking about how awesome you are & how awesome something you did is, and I want to express my excitement, but I feel kinda douchey about it. Heeeeey LOOK AT ME AND ALL THE PEOPLE TALKING ABOUT ME!!! Yuck. Except . . . it's really freaking cool! LOOK AT ME AND ALL THE PEOPLE TALKING ABOUT ME!!!

And y'all, this isn't even anything major. We didn't cure cancer. This is all going to go away in a day or two, everyone will have moved on to the next thing. Which is fine because I never expected it to be as popular as it has become. But if I'm feeling a little overwhelmed by a few days of internet meme popularity, can you imagine what it must be like for FOR REALS celebrities? No wonder they struggle so much with remaining normal.

Now, excuse me while I return the call from my publicist.

Almost There

2011-12-12T13:09:00.000-08:00

Oh, bloggity blog. I promise I will return. I have 4 more work days before taking 2.5 weeks off so I have to hit it hard right now, but once the weekend hits, I'm all yours. I have a long list of stuff to write about so get ready for content!

In the meantime, read this and this and maybe in the background you can hear me screaming my head off.

All Kinds of Goodness

2011-12-09T08:14:00.000-08:00

A few updates for you:

~ After enjoying Feminist Ryan Gosling, Biostatistical Ryan Gosling, Librarian Ryan Gosling, Literary Ryan Gosling . . . I decided to make Handmade Ryan Gosling. So far, it's a hit. Submit ideas for it to handmaderyangosling@gmail.com.

~ Tonight's the office holiday party. There will be karaoke. Remember a month ago when I was all IT'S MAH BIRTHDAY I'M GONE SAAAAAANG and stuff? And I was playing the karaoke, guy-voice-only version of Need You Now over and over and over in my office so I could be prepared for my duet with Kelli? Well, now, my boss is being that way. I swear to God if he comes to my office one more time to ask me which verse of Sweet Caroline I'll be singing (when our dept sings as a group), I'll . . . well, I guess I'll tell him (again) that I'm singing the 2nd verse.

~ My phone's battery stopped charging last weekend and this week has been so busy that I still haven't had a chance to get to a store and see if they can fix it, or get a new battery, or whatever I have to do. This is major, y'all. I have a hard time without my phone, I do everything on it! Tomorrow is the day, the day I return to Tweeting in the bathroom so my family doesn't get mad at me for being on my phone all the time.

~ Annie at the Wattlebird blog is running a giveaway right now for $20 credit in my shop - head over there and get you some!

Ok, I don't have time to do a Dance Party Friday today, but I will leave you with this gem, from my friend Alicia, who has been able to see Leslie live. Jerk.

Facebook & Twitter Giveaway Winners!

2011-12-05T10:03:00.000-08:00

I held a few $20 shop credit giveaways last week and used random.org's number generator to pick the winners! They are:

Personal Facebook - Michele!

One In The Hand Facebook - Robyn!

Twitter - @KnittingNatural!

Congratulations, ladies! Take a look at my shop and let me know how you'd like to spend your $$!

Chop Chop!

2011-11-28T15:15:00.001-08:00

Ok, y’all, here’s a few pics of me and mah hurr.

It’s about the length of the first photo, except the layers are mostly non-existent at this point so I’ve got a lot of triangle-head action going on. Time for a cut! Friends have coined the term “going A-Ray on yourself” from me cutting my own hair. It comes out cute about 75% of the time and I’ve done it for years, only making it to a real salon once a year or so.

I’m going to the salon for my next cut because I don’t want feel like messing with it, and I found a great lady at Hair Cuttery so it’s all kinds of inexpensive.

This is what I’ll be going for – actually very similar to the cut in the middle pic above, but no bangs, stacked in the back and maybe even a little asymmetry! For the last couple of years I was working on growing my hair out, but that just never turns out pretty, so I finally gave it up with my last cut, and now want to go even shorter. Especially during the winter, I love a short ‘do because it’s easy to straighten, and straight hair (for me) doesn’t get very messed up under winter hats, the way curly hair does (for me).

Me with short, straight hair. It starts out way straight but curls at the ends, always. My hair straightens very easily (yay!) but also reverts back to curls with even invisible amounts of moisture, like the amount that’s on your hands just by . . . being alive.

My hair doesn’t have the same curl featured in the pics below – my curl is more spiraled and tight, especially when short – but the basic cut and shape is what I’m after.

When I actually get around to having it done, I’ll share pics with you so you can ooh and ahh. Please ooh and ahh. Don’t tell me if it’s ugly!

Shopping You Can Feel Good About

2011-11-24T04:19:00.000-08:00

Don't forget, in my shop now through Monday, 11/28, you get free shipping on every item and 20% off when you use coupon code: NOVEMBERHOLLA !

Get yourself a cup cozy or headband - they're great a stocking stuffers, Secret Santa exchanges, paired with a cute mug or necklace . . . gifts for you or someone you love.

10% of each sale is donated to the Emergency Fund, which helps low-income folks in the Chicago area with immediate financial assistance during a crisis or transition. I use re-purposed materials in my items as much as I can - you can feel good about this purchase!

Charitable Businesses to Check Out!

2011-11-23T02:09:00.000-08:00

I love the opportunity my Etsy shop has given me to benefit my community – via financial donations, in-kind donations, volunteer opportunities and networking. I’ve met some incredible people and organizations through the charitable endeavors of my shop and I want to share some other businesses who give back! When you buy their awesome stuff, you’re not just supporting an independent business owner, you’re supporting a good cause as well!

Jewelry By Design – Philip Voetsch is the owner of Jewelry By Design and is also the designer of this gorgeous Blackberries cluster pendant. I know of this store in Kansas City through my friend Carrie who works there and has her own jewelry shop, Zarily, at Etsy. You can shop in the store or you can shop online, but whichever way you do it, purchasing something from the Blackberries collection means a donation will be made to Harvesters, the Kansas City area food bank! Jewelry By Design has a really active Facebook page where you can see customer testimonials. Jewelry By Design designs, creates and sells their jewelry and they can help you re-create old jewelry that you don’t wear any longer. If you’re looking for unique, high-quality jewelry, this is the place I would go!

Holly Knitlightly – Holly is a Twitter pal of mine, and dude – check out the awesome knitted stuff in her shop! She’s got a collection of cowls right now in a variety of colors and what I love is that she styles them on her models in a offbeat way. I would have just thought to hang that sucker around my neck! For EVERY ITEM sold in Holly’s shop, she donates a knitted square to the charity Knit-A-Square, which puts them together to make blankets for orphaned children in South Africa. Go Holly!!

Jac and Elsie – I got to know Jaclyn when we worked together on a blog post for the Handmade With Purpose blog earlier this year. Jaclyn’s shop offers a great variety of items because she works with new, repurposed and vintage jewelry and accessories! Certain sales in Jaclyn’s shop go toward Autism and Cancer charities, like this customizable necklace that will benefit Autism Speaks, which is the United States’ largest organization dedicated to the research, treatment and cure of Autism. Love to see handmade artists who give back via their shops!!

Sweatshop of Love – I’ve written about taking a knitting lesson from Allyson before. I just love her. She’s so funny and unique and is a knitting FIEND. She is what I point people to when I say, “Knitting isn’t just for Grandmas!” Well – Allyson has been working on a project for a friend who is establishing an organization called WORK+SHELTER that will help women who live in the slums of New Delhi, earn money to improve their lives. Allyson created 4 of the CUTEST patterns, which have been donated to her friend’s organization. The women in New Delhi will use those patterns to create knitted beautimousness that can be sold. Additionally, when you purchase one of Allyson’s WORK+SHELTER patterns (so you can knit them up yourself), 50% will be donated to the WORK+SHELTER organization! Thanks Allyson!!

Now, if all that shopping has worked up a hunger . . . and if you’re in the Memphis area, stop by Mama Mia’s Pizzaria and grab a slice! Ok, maybe they don’t sell by the slice – I mean, it IS Memphis . . . but you can get a whole pizza! Because you’re really hungry! From all that shopping! And supporting communities! Word on the street is that Mama Mia’s donates to local sports teams as well as the Special Olympics – I’m telling you, when I know a local business supports their community, I get loyal, FAST. So take note, all the rest of you pizzarias – give back to your community!

Check out the Handmade With Purpose blog. It hasn’t been active for a few months (it’s activity was concentrated in spring 2011) but there are still links in the sidebar to all kinds of shops that donate to their communities in some way. Plus, in the blog posts you’ll see specific items for sale in shops that give back. Get to clicking and see if anything catches your eye!

What businesses do you low that support their communities?

Cool Shops Gift Guide

2011-11-22T10:36:00.001-08:00

For today’s gift guide, I’m going to introduce you to some of the truly cool shops I’ve come across in the last year. Remember to include handmade items in your holiday shopping!

Mano y Metal is a shop in my Etsy team, the Chicago Style Crafters. Desiree has a variety of metal goodies, from stamped accessories like the bracelet above (which reads, “It has to get ugly before it turns beautiful – you know, like most newborns”) as well as other metal jewelry. One thing I love so much about this shop is the creativity of her photography.

Do Bats Eat Cats – another shop from my Etsy team. Darlene’s shop is mostly goth-inspired jewelry, which is not my personal style, but I love that it’s unique and serves a niche customer. She also has some pieces like the HOT bracelet above, which can work with almost any design aesthetic.

Blue Order – I got acquainted with Scott from Blue Order around a year ago, I think, after I selected one of his items for a Joy Division-themed treasury. I love the music and technology themes of his work as well as the way he makes art into items for practical use. I basically want to fill my house with all of his stuff, forever and ever, amen.

Spoonier – Spoonier is another shop from my Etsy team, run by Josh and Mike. They turn vintage spoons into rings and you can watch this cool video to see how. How freaking cool is this Washington D.C. ring? I’ll answer that: REALLY FREAKING COOL.

Cicada Grove – Cicada Grove is a shop in Iowa City run by my friends Alicia and Tony. They have a collection of prints that show up on tees, cards, posters, postcards. They have the best dang anthropomorphized State of Iowa I’ve ever seen! **Cicada Grove is launching a new shop in the next week so the Big Cartel shop I featured isn't open at the moment, but they are excited to email you when their new shop opens so you can check out the new digs! You can email them at cicadagrove@gmail.com and you won't be placed on a mailing list, no worries!**

Ododo Originals – I recently “met” shop owner Arimah on Twitter via a mutual friend, just a day or two later I am certain that I saw someone on my train wearing one of her gorgeous beaded hair clips! Definitely check this shop out!!

Remember when you’re shopping online this weekend, use these search terms in Etsy: Black Friday Etsy, Free Shipping Etsy, Cyber Monday Etsy – to find all the best deals offered! And don’t forget to shop at Big Cartel, too – they have sales just like the other sites!

Ready? Set? SHOP!

2011-11-18T15:26:00.000-08:00

I decided I didn't want to wait for next weekend's Black Friday madness, so I got all crazypants in my shop today! That's right - today, all the way through Cyber Monday (11/28), you can get big discounts in my Etsy shop!

You're already going to find:

*FREE SHIPPING*

20% off your order when you use coupon code NOVEMBERHOLLA

Super cute cup cozies and headbands

And all throughout next week you'll see:

New items in the shop!

Including discounted packs of items!

And some new things I've never sold in the shop before!

Remember that 10% of all my sales will be donated to the Emergency Fund here in Chicago, which is an organization that provides immediate financial assistance to low-income folks who are going through a crisis or transition. The Emergency Fund helps cut through the red tape and can provide someone a bus pass to go job hunting or mattresses for their new apartment - the essentials that can make a huge difference in people's lives. I'm excited to think about what my small donation will be able to provide for someone in need . . . maybe they'll tell me and I can tell you!

This, That, a Little of the Other

2011-11-16T15:33:00.001-08:00

So last week I was all EIGHT BLOG POSTS A DAY and this week . . .

*crickets*

Sorry, y’all! How about a general update?

Well, last week was my big birthday blowout, aka The 2nd Annual Sara and Ashley Joint Birthday Extravaganza! It deserves it’s own post, and that will happen, but I’m waiting on some photos from other people. I was too busy having the time of my life to take many. Expect a lot of foolishness.

We are, for the most part, settled into the new house. There are still some things that need a “home” and I still need to put away ~~most of~~ ok, ALL of my clothes. I’m living out of bags right now. I will scrub and paint and hammer and tear down and sanitize and dig and all that but PLEASE don’t make me put things away. I don’t know why I hate it, I just do.

My husband and daughter preparing dinner one evening. She’s as tall as me and 12 years old. I’m over-the-moon about this because I stopped growing at 14 (I’m 4’10”) so she will likely get another inch or two before she stops, which means SHE WON’T HAVE TO HEM ALL HER PANTS AND SKIRTS HER ENTIRE LIFE!!!

I’m trying to get myself into the Etsy shop groove because we have now entered my busiest time of the year. I think I’m going to have to push a little harder because normally I’d have some sales already and so far, nothing. Eh. I love it but man, I am wiped out, you know? I know I’ll regret it come January, if I sit back and do nothing. Life is so hard.

This is a cup cozy I’ll be putting in the shop soon. I have a few colors – this green, a mottled brown, purple, a mottled cream. Each will have a different set of fabric covered buttons.

This is an ear warmer headband I knitted and have been wearing on my bike rides to and from the train station. Yes, I’m still riding! I’m going to keep at it until the weather forces me to stop. Right now I’m doing a daily dance between bundling up enough not to give up and not being so bundled that I sweat like crazy (there are some big hills I have to climb on the way to the train in the mornings). I will likely put some of these in my Etsy shop as well. Instead of having a knitted/crocheted flower like the popular ones I’ve seen, I think I’ll do a little arrangement of fabric-covered buttons.

What else? Home is good, work is good. Vincent and I are going to begin working out to Bob Harper’s workout video. You know Bob Harper, right? The trainer from The Biggest Loser? This thing looks like a monster, I’m telling you. We watched it the other night (while sitting on the couch – I’ve also watched Jillian’s workout while knitting) and even the people he had doing the exercises with him couldn’t hang! They were dying and giving up. Vincent got 21 minutes into the hour-long cardio workout and quit. I’m excited for it to kick my butt.

I haven’t given up on Couch to 5K but I’m gonna shelve it until the warmer weather returns.

What are you up to these days?

Dance Party Friday: Karaoke Version

2011-11-11T08:31:00.000-08:00

Tonight is the night, y'all! I'm going out with work friends for my birthday, in a joint celebration with my girl Sara. She's the one who is gaga for George Michael with me, the one who does the dance this guy does at 0:23, the one who shares a birthday week with me.

We're going to hit a few bars, grab something to eat along the way, and then - AND THEN - KARAOKE!!!!!

So for today's dance party, you get a glimpse inside my secret daydream life - being a karaoke star. Well, actually, it's notsomuch just a karaoke dream. I just daydream about being somewhere - a talent show, open mic night, karaoke, etc - getting up to a mic and BLOWING EVERYONE AWAY WITH MY AMAZING MOST MAGICAL VOICE.

See, I have an ok voice. Nothing special, nothing horrible. I'm actually a technically proficient singer - I've been in choirs and musical theater all my life until the last couple of years. I can read music, sight-read, I can harmonize and I can memorize easily. If only I had a kickass voice to go along with all of that, dangit!

Sigh.

Instead, I just have a mediocre voice - always in the chorus, rarely getting a solo. THUS ENTERS THE MAGIC OF KARAOKE. I don't need you to give me a solo, I'm gonna take one. And I'm gonna shine. Ok, maybe I won't shine, maybe I'll just be very nervous and sick to my stomach all night trying to figure out what I can sing, while everyone continues drinking and having fun. So tonight, I'm not out to blow anyone away. I'm just gonna have fun. But if I did have an incredible voice? I'd sing these songs:

This is one of my favorite daydreams. I'm onstage in a silvery dress and the lights are low. The band is behind me but you can't see them. At about 2:35 in the song, you can tell something is about to happen, and then BAM!!!! at 2:47, the spotlight turns on full power and my dress sparkles and my mouth opens and you can't believe the beautimousness coming through my vocal chords into the microphone and into your ears. YOU CAN'T BELIEVE IT ZOMG. And then at 3:35 I get even more amazing. I looooove this daydream.

So. Um. I never realized that this song, which I love so much, has a video that shows you my daydream from the Celine Dion song, rock version style. WOAH!!!! I so, so love Brandi Carlile and the way her voice just RIPS on "all of these lines across my face" at 2:54 just slays me. I love how her voice is all weebly wobbly like Patsy Cline's.

I want to sing this, and I want to scream and have enough air to do the entire section from 3:11 - 3:40 without losing it: ONE LAST THING BEFORE I QUIT I NEVER WANTED ANY MORE THAN I COULD FIT INTO MY HAND I STILL REMEMBER EVERY SINGLE WORD YOU SAID AND ALL THE SHIT THAT SOMEHOW CAME A LONG WITH IT STILL THERE'S ONE THING THAT COMFORTS ME SINCE I WAS ALWAYS CAGED AND NOW I'M FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! I can't believe Dave Grohl doesn't like how he sounds.

I don't think I really need to say much about this song. I don't have an elaborate daydream for it. Adele is getting a little played but that's because she is phenomenal!! I sing this loudly when no one is home. The video is beautiful.

Raised on this band and Mama Cass - oh, to sing like Mama Cass.

I once sang "Just a Girl" and my friends thought I rocked it, but I'd rather sing this one. I love it so!

Ok - now this isn't my favorite Beasties song, but it's great, on my favorite album of theirs, and the last verse? MCA's? INCREDIBLE. I was at a party once when this came on and I began rapping along and after I did MCA's verse, people actually CHEERED! I felt pretty awesome after that. I think the likelihood of doing a Beasties song tonight is pretty high.

Ain't No Way - For me to siiiing this song . . .

Sigh

Really, I'd love to be able to sing anything that Glen Hansard sings or writes, but this song is just awesome. It's even better in the scene from the movie (Once) where they perform in a recording studio. He can just WAIL.

Oh yes. Singing hard all the way to screaming! I actually can't scream, did you know that? I mean, I can't do a high-pitched shriek, and I can't make my voice do that scratchy, ripped sound. As soon as I get close, it's like God mutes me or something. No sound comes out. I would love to sing this part but you just can't do it without the screaming, you know?

F-U-N!

What do you like to sing when you go to karaoke? Do you have any karaoke daydreams?

Build Your Resolve Now

2011-11-10T11:21:00.000-08:00

I’m angry about Penn State and boys being raped and molested. I know you are, too.

I’m angry at the man who did it, and the men who knew about it and didn’t make it stop.

I think that anger is completely justified. I also think that it’s easy for us to say what we would have done, if we’d been in those circumstances. Now, hear me out – I’m not about to excuse anyone’s actions. No way. But I do understand the pressure to keep quiet about something bad, in order to protect others. I also understand that when faced with a trauma, people make mistakes. They make small mistake and they make huge mistakes. People make decisions and get embroiled in things that they wish they could get out of. That they regret and feel indescribable guilt over for the rest of their lives. And they can’t take it back. They’d give their lives to take it back, but they can’t.

Making mistakes when lives are on the line is something many people do. It is a normal thing. It is a human thing. Being scared shitless when faced with a huge, life-changing decision, and being frozen, that is also a normal, human thing.

Because of this, I can understand what all went down with Penn State and it’s horror show.

The thing is, all that is still not good enough. “I was terrified and I had enormous pressure on me to not bring scandal to the lives of many” is JUST NOT ENOUGH when we’re talking about lives, about children, about rape.

I suppose what I want to say is – you and I, the ones who are outraged and sickened and who have sobbed over what has happened to those children – we are human and capable of making those same huge mistakes as the Penn State guys did. Yes, we are. You may want to think you’re not capable of it, but we are all human and we all have the capability of FUBAR – fucking up beyond all repair.

Stuff typically tends to go FUBAR in the heat of the moment. You take that grad assistant coach and sit him down in a comfortable chair and read him a story about a kid getting raped. You tell him “What would you do if you walked in on it?” Bet you anything he says he’d walk right over and stop that shit. He’d rescue that child. Then he’d take the kid to the hospital or the police station or at the very least home to his parents. But he would stop it from going any further.

In the moment, that is not what happened, is it? And we say, “How could anyone, especially a 28 year old person in grad school, just walk away from that child?” I don’t know how he did it. I don’t think I could, but you know what? It didn’t happen to me.

NOW is the time we have to say to ourselves – NOW, when we are in our comfortable chairs and we’re reading the story in front of us - "When the traumatic thing happens in front of my eyes, I will not back away from it. When I come upon a situation where someone is being harmed, I will step in and do something. When I’m faced with telling the truth and possibly bringing a big mess down on my head for being honest . . . possibly destroying careers, organizations, reputations – I will do the right thing. I will do the very, very hard thing. I will do the courageous thing." We have to say this to ourselves now so that it won't be so hard to do, then.

I would like to think I am a better person than the Penn State people who turned the other way when they knew children were being raped. I would like to think that incredible success and wealth and pressure would not keep me from doing something so horrible. But I am human. I am capable of being just as evil as the next guy, if I let myself be. I don’t want to be that way. I’m guessing you don’t want to either. So today, we have to tell ourselves that when it’s in our face, we will do something about it. We have to build resolve, NOW. Because when the situation IS in our face and we have to make the right decision, our fear can ruin everything.

The American Dream and Education: My Plans as a Parent

2011-11-10T01:17:00.000-08:00

I don’t believe that bigger, or better is truly better. I think it’s deceptive and doesn’t really fulfill us. So I’m not pushing my kids to live a “better” life than I have, at least not in terms of material accomplishments. Instead, I’m pushing my kids to learn about themselves, to learn about the world, to learn about service to others and to learn about hard work.

And – I have a plan!

My kids (ages 12, 10 and 4) are already learning to work hard. They have homework and chores. They are learning to cook and to do their own laundry. They are learning to manage their money. I take them with me to volunteer because I want to instill that value in them, and I want them to be comfortable with people in need. I want them to get to know what causes people to be in need and I want them to understand that it is a normal experience. EVERYONE needs something or someone and I don’t want my kids to look down on someone else for being in need. I also don’t want my kids to feel bad about themselves when they are in need.

As they get older, they will have to get jobs. They might start out with something like babysitting, but before they leave high school they need to have worked someplace where they have taxes deducted from their paycheck. I will encourage them to work in food service. I will send them to temp agencies so they get a variety of work experiences and so they can receive job training. I will take them to work with me and have them help me with filing and other office tasks. I can’t tell you how valuable office experience was to me in finding better-paying jobs than my peers during college! I want my kids to have manual labor jobs, too. Landscaping, construction, hospitality, cleaning, etc. I want my kids to learn how to WORK. They need to experience crappy bosses and crappy pay and crappy work conditions. They need to learn how to not give up just because their work sucks. Because guess what – all those things exist even when you work in prestigious, high-paying jobs. Those things exist whether you work in a traditional industry or when your work is on the cutting edge.

We will push them to get very good grades and to be involved in a variety of activities, not so they can get into the best school – so they can get money for school! They will apply for as many scholarships and grants as possible. I hope that we can finance their entire college education that way, but if those things don’t happen, then my kids will work to pay for their schooling. If they need to go to school part-time so they can work more hours or to accommodate a better-paying job, then that’s what they’ll do. If they need to work for a year or two after high school before starting college, fine. They will hopefully enter college more mature and with a better idea of what they want out of college. We will consider letting them live at home to offset their expense, but they will work and they will contribute at home. Sure – 4 years away at a great school would be a fun and enriching experience for them. But that is NOT the only way to “do” college, and it’s not the only way to have fun or to be enriched.

The things I’ve described aren’t outlandish. You know what they are? They’re what working class and poor people do to survive and to attain success. More and more, these are the things middle-class people are going to have to do. And I think there is a lot of value in those experiences. I want my kids to learn how to live on less, to value experience over things and to be able to handle difficult circumstances without crumbling. So I don’t buy the American Dream anymore (at least I’m trying very hard not to) and I’m trying not to teach it to my kids. Our culture will teach it to them plenty, but my kids will at least have been armed with the ability to survive and thrive when the bottom falls out of the dream for most others. Here’s hoping, anyway.

Read the first two posts in this series:

The American Dream and Education: Wanting Better For Our Children

The American Dream and Education: College Without Debt

Adam Braverman Saves the Day

2011-11-09T15:25:00.000-08:00

On last night's episode of NBC's Parenthood, there was a scene that gave me happy chills. I was sitting there with my hand up over my mouth, on the edge of the couch, staring at Adam Braverman (Peter Krause's character) with such love . . . ;)

See, in the show, Adam and his wife Kristina recently had a baby - a very unplanned baby. They already have a teenager and a younger son. Adam and his brother just bought an old recording studio and are trying to turn it into a profitable one. They also hired an assistant who is super crazy young and SMOKING hot.

Kristina is dealing with the I Just Had A Baby And Feel So Incredibly Not Hot And Self Concious stage that most women go through during the weeks & months after giving birth. It takes quite a while for the body to "bounce back" to its old self, and the truth (sorry, y'all) is that for most women, it never does bounce all the way back. Especially after having more than one kid. On top of all that, your body's hormones are still trying to regulate themselves, so your emotions are just all over the place and heightened. You feel gross and your body is healing from birth, so even if the Dr. has given the ok to have sex again, you may not feel ready. You might be scared of pain, of not being attractive, of not enjoying it. Your hormones are trying to tell you "Slow down, you just had a baby" so you may not even be interested in sex. Still, sex is important for most relationships so going weeks and months without it can strain the relationship. And it's like - your husband is giving you space because he knows you're not ready yet, but the fact that they aren't trying to get it on makes you feel like you're not desirable.

It's a tough time to be a chick, I'm telling you. I've been through it 3 times. I remember one day on maternity leave after our last child was born, watching something on tv that prompted me to go look in the full-length mirror. My husband came home and I was sobbing on the couch about how horrible I looked and how I was never going to be hot again and, well, he had to do a lot of encouraging so I wouldn't totally lose it.

So in the scene below, Adam's recording studio is having a big launch party. Kristina is in the red dress, the smoking hot assistant is in the black jacket, and Adam is the guy who totally blew me away with how sweet and loving and real he is when talking to Kristina.

Sigh.

Watch it and sigh with me.

The American Dream and Education: College Without Debt

2011-11-09T01:16:00.000-08:00

I work at a private, VERY expensive graduate school, and most of the students have come to our school straight from undergrad. Many of them haven’t worked full-time and the work they’ve had has been low-paying work – retail, babysitting – not something one can make a living off of – at least not a middle-class living. You know there are people supporting entire families off of retail, right?

TOO MANY of these students aren’t prepared for the rigors of graduate school, or life in the workforce after graduation. And it’s not that these aren’t good candidates – these students are great on paper. They have high grades, an interest in serving their communities. They want to make a difference in the world and they have brains. But so many of them have had a very nice lifestyle given to them by their parents, and their parents have held their hands through much of life (you know, helicopter parents). They were raised by parents who didn’t ask them to get jobs in high school and college because they believed that their child should be allowed to focus on school and personal fulfillment/development. I don’t think that these parents were lazy or didn’t care about their kids – in fact, I think they care very much and worked very hard to provide a happy life for their family. But I think their parents bought into the American Dream, just like most of us have (including myself). Unfortunately, many of these children became adults who struggle mightily with the pressures and hard work it takes to survive in this world.

Me? I went to a junior college on scholarships and grants, so I got two years of college for FREE. I then transferred to a state university. Much less prestigious than the schools many of my friends went to, but a solid education nonetheless and at a fraction of the cost. This was funded via grants and small loans. I didn’t finish my bachelor’s degree. I got pregnant with our oldest child, dropped out and joined the work force. I wish I had finished because that degree could have helped me at times, but I have earned a good living even without it.

How did I do such a thing? I developed good work experience during high school and college – it wasn’t that well paid but it taught me a lot. I developed skills, learned how to navigate the workforce, and built a resume. It was that experience that got me into my first full-time job and from there, each job added to my marketability. Now? I’ve been working full-time since 1999 and make a good living, in a good job – and I still don’t have my bachelor’s degree! I waited to go back to school until I had tuition reimbursement, and until I found a degree I was willing to invest in. I finance my education with a mixture of tuition reimbursement, grants (finally pays to be working class with kids, woo hoo!) and a very small amount in loans.

I know quite a few people who have master’s degrees and are unable to command the salary I can because they simply don’t yet have the experience and skill I’ve developed. I also know people with graduate degrees who can’t find work, not even crappy work. The economy right now is a tough and very competitive place, and that is really unfortunate for those who have invested so much in expensive educations – especially if they did it with loans that aren’t paid back yet. Now, I do want to finish my bachelor’s degree and I’m considering getting a master’s degree. But I won’t do it if my only option for paying is loans. I have seen over and over that loans are crippling the young adults who have been told that prestigious degrees are their ticket to success.

Read the first part of this series, The American Dream and Education: Wanting Better for Our Kids.

True Success and True Failure as a Coach

2011-11-08T14:49:00.000-08:00

I’m sure most, if not all, of you have heard about the child abuse that took place in connection to the Penn State football program. This hits particularly close to home in my family as my husband is a high school football coach and has also coached little league football (middle school grades). Abuse like this can happen anywhere – through an organization like a school or a church, within a family or neighborhood. It can happen at the hands of a stranger.

And you know what – I can understand why people turn towards a cover up. If someone I knew well and respected, whose success was tied up with my own, was rumored to have been doing something horrible to a child, I wouldn’t want to believe it. I would think, if I call the cops and it’s not true, everyone’s reputation will be tarnished, people could lose their jobs, they’ll be branded forever as a monster even if it turns out it wasn’t true. I can understand the pressure against making that call.

But that’s where we see people’s strength and character, right? When a child’s safety – when unknown children and their safety is at risk – you must, you MUST put those concerns aside and do what is best for the children. Shoot, it doesn’t it even to be children, it could be adults.

Besides the horror of what was allowed to happen, including university administration not alerting ANY authorities (what?!?!), it makes me so sad to see coaches and other people who work with kids, tarnished that way. My husband coached a group of boys for 3 years in a row, starting with their 6th grade year in little league football, through their 8th grade year. He became very close to those kids, some of whom came from pretty disadvantaged situations. He was a major mentor for some of them. He chaperoned parties, went to parent-teacher conferences when parents had to work. He took them on trips to tournaments, had them over to our house for pizza parties. He counseled them, required them to give them progress reports from their teachers. We got to know the families and life situations of these kids. For one boy in particular, he was seriously a father figure.

Then we decided to move to Chicago and we had to step out of their lives. He felt such guilt over leaving some of the boys. They depended on him. Some of the boys did well in school and football (and other sports and activities) and some of them didn’t. Some of them got into major trouble, including jail time. At one point we considered seeing if one of the boys could come live with us in Chicago, because he wasn’t getting the guidance and support he needed at home, but that didn’t happen.

Since then, my husband has coached at the high school level, as a freshman coach. Every year, his freshman want to move up to the next team but are sad to not have my husband as a coach any more. My husband is about fundamentals and developing a love for the game. He has a special connection with a couple kids each year. Just recently, a player on the varsity team was featured in a Chicago Tribune article and you know what coach he talked about? His freshman coach, my husband.

He’s kept in touch with the little league kids – who are now men, actually (which is so hard for me to believe!). They’re college aged. Some of them are in college, some are working, some are fathers. One of them played football at a junior college and just received a football scholarship to a well-known university in our region, and he’s asked my husband to go with him on a campus visit next month. My husband has stayed in touch with him all these years, coaching him over the phone, watching game tape and sending him feedback, talking to him about life. When we visit my family, my husband visits his football kids and their families, his fellow coaches who are still in town.

THIS is the good a coach can do. This is how a coach should be. A person who is given access to children is supposed to enrich them, not damage them. They should not be above reproach. If anyone ever suspected my husband of causing harm to a child, damn right they should look into that, even if it means a heap of trouble for our family. Even if it meant my husband's chances of coaching again were ruined, I'd hope that the matter would be investigated fully until everyone concerned was satisfied that he hadn't done anything. The safety of our kids is too important to do anything less.

I am so proud that my husband does it the right way . . . and I am so sad for the children who were harmed by that sick, twisted man. I am so sad that a group of coaches and administrators put their jobs and their salaries before the well-being of children.

The American Dream and Education: Wanting Better for Our Kids

2011-11-08T01:14:00.000-08:00

I have a friend on Twitter, @blackgirlinmain (you can read her blog at www.blackgirlinmaine.com) who I have some of the best conversations with. Recently she was talking about the part of the American Dream that tells us if we go to college, we’ll get a good job . . . and how that really isn’t true anymore.

One used to be able to earn a good living as a tradesman, and college was for those going into professional work. A bachelor’s degree was something to shoot for and now it’s often the bare minimum expected, even in jobs that didn’t require them in the past. A bachelor’s degree is almost the new high school diploma!

Part of American Dream is that you should/must go to college, and that you want to shoot for as prestigious a university as possible because of how it looks on a resume and the high caliber education you’ll get there. Of course, the “better” the school, the more expensive it is.

One of the ideas that has become part of our American culture is that as parents, we should want our children to have better or more than we had ourselves. We want them to do better in school, make more money, have better jobs, have a better/bigger house, live in a better neighborhood. There is the idea that wanting this for your children is what good parents do. It’s become so accepted that no one really questions the virtue of these values. They aren’t seen as optional perspectives to hold – OF COURSE everyone wants their children to have better than they had.

I was discussing this with someone once – someone who is undeniably upper middle class. He has a Ph.D. makes a VERY nice living (so does his wife) and lives in a posh area in a gorgeous, expensive home. We were discussing the economy and he made an offhand remark that he wants his lifestyle to stay the same. I told him I wanted to stay “working class”, and he was surprised to hear that. People are surprised every time I tell them that. Shouldn’t I want my children to have an easier life than I have had?

The truth is, I don’t. I think that just like the idea of being “colorblind”, the idea of wanting more/better for your kids was probably well-intended, but has had a negative impact on our society and culture. There are only so many steps up the proverbial ladder one can climb, and as more and more people try to crowd onto the ladder, the harder it becomes to move up to the next step . . . yet we’re still taught that we should fight to get up that ladder.

Additionally, I think the idea that we should always be trying for more, for better, leaks out into everything we do. We must have a better car/house/phone/wardrobe/etc – why? And if you can’t get better, what happens to you? How many people were raised in middle and upper-middle class families, who have struggled to attain that lifestyle as adults, and feel ASHAMED because of their struggle? Ashamed to live in an apartment instead of being able to buy a house? Ashamed that they could only finance an education at a state university? Ashamed because they had to buy a used car? How many are ashamed at the idea of living a more working-class lifestyle, so they go into incredible debt to finance a “better” education, home, car, lifestyle? And where did it get them? Do they feel “safe” that no one will figure out how broke they are? Or are they always worried that things will crumble and they won’t be able to set themselves up the way their parents did?

I know that not all people who came from middle and upper-middle class families go through these struggles, and I know that everyone who struggles doesn’t feel shame over it. I see it quite often in my peers, though – and I don’t want that for my children.

A Wall of Beautiful Sound

2011-11-07T11:18:00.001-08:00

The below is from a friend - I want this!

"We went to a Quaker song circle last night. It was at this old farmhouse of this lady who used to teach at a Quaker school and we had a little potluck before hand with about 10 people. Most of them were in their 50s, but also two older ladies and a few people our age. The lady has a big culinary/medicinal herb greenhouse and has books all over her house about tinctures and "witches gardens" and Mother Earth news magazines and whatnot. So we ate and then sat in a big circle and sang out of a songbook. Everything from camp songs to Irish ballads to protest songs to hymns to Beatles. And everyone was really good at harmonizing and it was just lover-ly. Everyone was extremely enthusiastic and... present. A wall of beautiful sound."

Dance Party Friday: Don't Go, Summer!

2011-11-04T08:56:00.001-07:00

Today's theme is all about summer. I know - we're solidly into fall and headed toward winter - why am I doing a summer Dance Party? Mainly because someone told me to. But the point is to say, "Goodbye, summer. You rock and where I live you only show up for like 2 weeks a year which makes me cry, so here's your very own dance party because I. Just. Can't. Let. Go."

Or something like that.

Anyway - it's my dance party, I do what I want! These are all songs I've rocked out to over various summers in my life:

Hmm. I think this was either a late high school summer or a college summer.

Early childhood summer - '83, '84, somewhere around there. Love, love, love the Go Go's.

Summer that Karate Kid came out! Wikipedia says it was 1984. Do you know which scene the song shows up in? Bonus points if you do!

Summer 2011! I know I was late but that's when I got into this song. All summer long, every day, several times a day.

Summer 2011 - Dude, this chick is such a bad example for young girls, but I am not a young girl and will not be influenced to drunkenly run around in ripped tights with leaves in my hair.

Summer 2011. I really wasn't into this when it was first released but then it won me over.

Summer 1998, before I met my husband, driving around with the roomie in the How I Met My Husband story, playing this over and over and over. Loudly.

Summer before sophomore year in high school! My friends and I drove around all summer listening to it. We were all packed into her old school station wagon - it fit us all and she was the only one with a license.

Summer before junior year in college! 1998 - listened to this in the early part of the summer before I transferred schools. I mainly remember it so specifically because I was dating a dude before that move & we both loved the song(s).

I think this was summer before my junior year in high schools, so...1994. This had come out a few years before and I was (and still am) in love with the entire album, but my friend Katherine (who I share a birthday with) and I listened to this song over and over and over. Are you sensing a theme??

Also summer before junior year - driving around with MANTA - My, Ashley, Ngan, Thy and Alicia. Oh, and Kelly, Ebony and Chris. EAST HIGH SOCCER ROCKS!

That's right, y'all, I listen to country, too! OOH - I need to do a country dance party! This was the summer before my sophomore year in college, so 1997. I listened to this and a lot of country that summer when I worked at a 4-H camp.

This was summer in my early childhood years - 84, 85, somewhere around there. I listened to this on my little Walk and Play. Similar to this one:

ZOMG THIS SONG. Another Walk and Play favorite. Can't Slow Down was a great album. Penny Lover, walk on by . . .

Man, this song still kills me. I love every bit of it. I'd graduated to a pink and grey walkman by this time and had a tape where I recorded this song from the nightly radio Top 10 countdown over and over until I filled the tape. With just this song. It was #1 FOREVER.

Alright, y'all. Any good summer songs you love?

It’s Mah Buurrrrthday!

2011-11-03T10:29:00.001-07:00

So far, I've received some chapstick from my husband (much needed - we can't find ANYTHING in our house right now), a bunch of Doughnut Vault scrumptiousness from my boss (shared with co-workers), a scarf/earrings set/candle from Ten Thousand Villages (a fair trade craft retailer) from a co-worker, and lots of Facebook happiness from friends & family. Tonight I'll have a yummy dinner and evening with the family, probably talk to my Mom and Dad on the phone. Next week I'll be out for dinner, drinks and karaoke with friends.

I also wanna share the love with you: any sales in my Etsy shop today come with free shippingAND a special surprise in the package! Just use this code when you check out: BirthdayHolla

HOLLA!

Yay, birthdays!

Also, I’m wearing my favorite socks today. :)

Our New House

2011-11-02T09:19:00.001-07:00

As mentioned in an earlier post, my family needed to move – I say needed rather than needs because we’re all done – we found a place and moved in this weekend!

It’s a 2-minute (if even that) drive from our old house, a 10-15 minute walk (depending on which route you take), and keeps our kids in the same schools so they didn’t have to leave their friends. They can walk to our old neighborhood to see their friends and they already have school friends that live in our new neighborhood. Our townhouse division is right next to a big park with a few playgrounds, soccer tournaments, a bike & jogging path and a water park that we’ve already learned to enjoy (my favorite feature is the Toilet Bowl of Death). We were very fortunate to find this place – it was the only one that met our 3 important requirements: kids stay in the same schools, we can afford it, it has the same amount of space. In fact, this place has MORE space because now we have a small patio and back yard!

Wanna take a look? I know you do!

A look down one end of our street. We live in a townhouse subdivision that looks a lot like an apartment complex because there are so many cars, the houses are close together, etc – but we live down on the far end of the division, next to a big park, and on a U-shaped street off the main road, so we have much less car & foot traffic. Each townhouse has a 1-car garage so the 2 you see side-by-side belong to the 2 townhouses that are side-by-side.

Our front door, closet, stairs and our 4 year old. The walls throughout most of the house are this gorgeous gray/aqua color, and our black, white and red furnishings go perfectly – it’s like the owner new my most-favorite color combination and painted the place just to suit me. Unreal! (I bet @fertrue, my friend who is helping me brand my Etsy shop, will get a kick out that – and the rest of you, just wait til all my branding stuff is done – you’ll see what I mean).

Downstairs half-bath, in dark green. And just inside the bathroom is a utility closet which contains . . .

Our very own washer and dryer!! Throughout our married life we’ve had just about every type of washing machine situation – we’ve had building machines that took quarters, shared “free” machines with other tenants, we’ve had to use the laundromat – but this is the very first time we’ve had a washer & dryer ALL TO OURSELVES. At the moment, this is my most favorite thing about this place.

Walk past the half-bath into the living room and on the right is our kitchen, painted a sunny yellow. I love that there isn’t a full wall, and love that there isn’t just a chopped-out pass-through window.

Look, a pantry!

Here’s the actual kitchen.

Standing in the living room, kitchen to the right, and look – our patio! WE HAVE A PATIO, Y’ALL!! Oh – one thing I love is that our windows face very private areas so we can leave them uncovered and no one is going to be walking by and looking in. We’ve battled the privacy/sunlight thing for years as we always end up living in places that have windows in areas with lots of foot traffic.

Ok – upstairs landing area. We think a tv w/videogames & DVD player will go against that half-wall – it will be the kids’ area.

Our room (door open on the left), 4 year old going into our daughter’s room (yellow, like the kitchen), upstairs bath on the right, I’m standing in the doorway to the boys’ room. Our room and our daughter’s room look out over the back yard.

Our patio (that’s the neighbor’s patio with the picnic table). Our yard extends to the left behind the building, where there is another wooden fence stretching back to about where that tree is. Right behind the tree, the lawn slopes down to that brushy area, where there is a small creek. On the other side of the creek is a massive field, then a tree break, and on the other side of those trees are single-family homes and the big park/waterpark we like to go to, and the junior high the older kids will go to in the next 2 years. I’m really excited for next spring/summer, to plant some flowers and maybe something edible, for the first time. The patio/backyard/view is my 2nd most favorite thing so far about this new place, even though we’re headed into winter. I can’t wait to explore the creek area with the kids!

Vincent and I have spent the last couple years hanging out on our front porch/lawn, talking about re-doing the tiny garden area with pavers so it could be like a little patio, wishing we had a more private yard. We like to chill outside with a drink or some food, a book, music, friends, family. We like to watch the kids run around and play. Our last place was the first place we had a front yard area (it was our first non-apartment home) and now? Now we have a nice front yard but ZOMG LOOK AT THIS BACK YARD!!! We get our own small patio & yard but we get to look at this beautiful field, and trees. The location of our townhouse in the division is so awesome – 95% of the other townhomes have backyards that face other backyards. Ours is on the edge and next to the park so we really lucked out.

A view of the big field from an upstairs window.

So yeah – we’re very happy with the move. A month ago when we received the notice that we had to move, we never expected to end up in a place this awesome. We are very, very fortunate.

Dance Party Friday, Anniversary Edition

2011-10-28T12:51:00.001-07:00

Today is our 11th wedding anniversary! Hooray for us. :)

We met in October 1998. I was in college at Kansas State University when my husband (in the Army at the time) came to my apartment with some friends. His friend had a crush on my roommate and he wanted to visit her, but didn't want to come alone, so he drug his friends along with him.

I began quizzing the guys on what music they listened to, and one after another, they were saying "Master P" and I was just like Uhhhh. Without the nah nah nah, you guys. Not a fan. I mean, I respect his hustle but his style is just not my thing. When I got to my husband, he said he listened to A Tribe Called Quest. This made me take notice because I was a big ATCQ fan. I left for some party and later referred to him as "the cute one on the couch." I didn't really think about him again.

A couple weeks later, on Halloween night, my roomies and I went to a Goodie Mob concert on campus - and THE CUTE ONE ON THE COUCH was there with his friends! We saw them in the audience so after the show we met up with them and decided we'd all go to the various Halloween parties in town, as a big group. We split off into different cars and I (of course) ended up in his car. OH LOOK, he happened to be playing Tribe on his stereo! ;)

We were out all night and while our friends went into house party after house party, we stayed behind in his car and talked and talked and talked.

A couple days later he & his friends came over (my roomie had begun warming up to the guy who had a crush on her) and the rest is history - we got serious immediately.

Two years and one baby later, we got married, and here we are today, 11 years and two more kids later. We've been through a lot . . . A LOT, Y'ALL. And we're still together and happy.

Here's the little gazebo where we got married. No decorations (none needed, look at that greenery!), our friends & family stood around the gazebo and we had a very small reception at the local brewery.

Love you babe!

Excited for my birthday!

2011-10-25T16:14:00.001-07:00

My birthday is in about a week, a couple days later is my work BFF's birthday, and a week after that we'll be going out with co-workers for The 2nd Annual Ashley and Sara Joint Birhday extravaganza!

Last year's festivities involved a lot of bar-hopping. I hoped the evening would end in a killer danceoff, but due to smoke machines and someone's asthma, we just sat around and complained about work. I've decided to plan a dance night separately with people who I know really want to go, and to do something else super fun for our birthday.

Sara got to pick where we eat/drink (she's a foodie, I'm not) and I got to pick the late night activity: KARAOKE!

What should I sing? I'm going for fun crowd pleasers, not an audition for American Idol.

Proud of my husband

2011-10-24T03:24:00.000-07:00

Among other things, my husband is a high school football coach. He coaches at his alma mater, under the same head coach he had when he was in high school. This is a big school where football is king, and he's coached there for a few years now, working his way up the ladder.

He's held different coaching positions on the freshman team and has been asked to coach on the sophomore team next year. Also, recently a senior player on the varsity team was highlighted in the Chicago Tribune. That player mentioned my husband's coaching during his freshman year as something that helped him a lot. Very cool!

As a coach he's mentored many kids & teens - athletically, academically and in terms of character and choices. He really shines in this sort of role and I'm proud of him.

Dance Party Friday! Simply Happy

2011-10-21T07:39:00.000-07:00

Today's Dance Party is simply "songs that make us happy." Who's the "us?" Me & my co-workers. I've put out a call to them, asking for their song requests . . . of course I had to lay the smacketh down immediately when one of them asked for Dirty Diana. Again.

Look. I am not going to play that song on my blog. Ever. I just don't like it and this is my blog and YOU AREN'T THE BOSS OF ME!!!

hmph.

YOU GUYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO FIND THIS SONG FOREVER AND IT'S FINALLY ON YOUTUBE!!!! I had this tape, this was my favorite song, I know every word. This is JUST Salt - no Pepa. She kills this song.

Here's the first request I could approve - love this song. It's very cheerleader-y and I like the pause: "That's not my . . . name."

"You take your prospects and your pick axe and you trudge down to the stream, and you bloody your hands digging for your dream." I have never found a band or musician who has more poetic and just plain awesome lyrics than the Indigo Girls. I love this line, it's tattoo worthy.

This is a fun dance song but what I love most is the humor. Please note 0:23 - that's Sara's dance!! If only he would make it rain, he would be her dance twin! Also? Hot. Please dance more.

I'd heard of these guys but didn't really give them a listen until they were on Saturday Night Live. This song is incredible. Please listen all the way through, it builds & builds. Here they are, playing it on Letterman.

Sara's request - Now, if you're new to this blog, you don't know that Sara and I have shared a love for this song for quite a while. I mean, we each loved it but then we FOUND OUT that we each loved it and the rest was history. Playing non-stop, leaving each other voicemails, breaking out into song, putting it on each other's facebook pages, history. We're about to go out for our 2nd annual Sara & Ashley Joint Birthday Extravaganza and, well, this song is likely going to make an appearance periodically through the evening. If we go dancing, a DJ will be bothered repeatedly until he agrees to play it.

Sara's really feeling the 80s at the moment.

Yeah! Kate suggested this song, a classic. How amazing would it have been to see this live??

Mike's contribution - I can get with this. After I vetoed Dirty Diana and Danzig.

WE TAKE THE BACKSEATS OUT OF THE MINIVAN . . . Hmm . . . is this how Sara and I will go out for our birthday??

Love me some Patsy!!

OMG don't read the comments. It'll just make you sad. Y'all, just enjoy the music. Don't argue about it.

My favorite song by a favorite band. Brian Wilson just can't be topped in pop song writing, and his voice when he sings, "Everything will turn out alright" . . . sigh.

My friend Nick said that in concert, these guys say some variation of "This one's for the ladies" prior to every song. Makes me love them even more.

What songs make you super happy?

My family is the 99%

2011-10-19T15:46:00.000-07:00

I have lots of thoughts to share about Occupy Wall Street, money, class and so on - and I hope to share those thoughts soon.

Today I'm going to direct you to something I wrote in April that you might not have read - it's the story of a crisis my family went through a few years ago.

You know, many people wouldn't look at me or my family and think we'd be the types to go through a crisis of that type - we're too educated, too well-dressed, too smart, too well-paid. Well, we did go through it and there are thousands of families, including families who are even better off than we are, who are going through things like this.

Was our situation the fault of Wall Street? Directly, maybe not. Did Wall Street contribute to the real estate situation where people bought investment properties they couldn't really afford? Yes. Did an incredible number of property owners go into foreclosure because their payments weren't realistic? Yes. Did every day people like my family get the short end of the stick when it came to renting a property that turned out to be foreclosed? OH YES. Why, my family is going through that very same thing right now - we have to move by the end of December - except this time there's no dramatic flooding. There have been so many renters being turned out of now-foreclosed properties that a new law was created in 2009 to protect them . . . and still we weren't protected. There are still hardworking families having to scramble for a new place to live because their landlord went into foreclosure.

I suppose we should "just" buy a house, already, right?

Dance Party Friday: SKA-MAZING!!

2011-10-14T07:45:00.000-07:00

A couple weeks ago, the Dance Party was about the music my friend Justin introduced me to. I mentioned that he was in a ska band - he's the one who played ska for me for the first time.

I am not a ska expert, but . . . did you know that reggae actually developed out of ska? It's true! Ska started in Jamaica in the 50s and 60s. I don't know much about its evolution there in Jamaica, except that by the late 60s & 70s, reggae was king. Here's what I've pieced together from stuff I've read over the years - imagine rock in the 1950s - Chuck Berry, Elvis Presley, those guys. More bouncy, energetic - that was ska. Then as doo wop, Motown and soul began emerging - slower rhythms, more funk - ska made that same evolution into reggae. I think. :)

HOWEVER! Ska was revived in England in the 70s in what is sometimes called the "2nd wave" or "2 Tone" ska era. 2 Tone wasn't the only, but was the biggest English ska record label. The black and white checkers that is associated with ska comes from their logo:

Eventually its popularity died out. In the 90s, ska came back in the U.S. I was around during that 3rd wave and enjoyed it quite a bit. There are still ska bands all over today, though the genre isn't popular the way it was 15 years ago.

So, without further ado, I'm going to go chronologically through the years and play some of the songs and artists that my friends and I have come to know and love. I'm also going to include some music that wouldn't be categorized as ska, but has obvious ska/reggae influences.

Skatalites – Guns of Navarone

The Skatalites are one of the bands that got ska off the ground in Jamaica and this is probably their biggest hit. I need more of their stuff, like whoa.

Desmond Dekker – The Israelites

Desmond Dekker was another early ska artist who went on to have great success in the 60s and 70s. Love this song.

Toots & the Maytals - Pressure Drop

The Clash later covered this, and it's been covered by many others. Great classic ska by a massive ska/reggae band. If you're into ska/reggae and you don't listen to these guys, you need to rectify that situation IMMEDIATELY.

Bob Marley and the Wailers - Ska Jerk
Um, recognize that name? That's right, these guys were ska before they were reggae! And do you recognize the melody when they sing ska jerrrk? Sounds very similar to a U.S. r&b song from the 60s, though I can't place it at the moment.

A Message to You Rudy - The Specials
The Specials are my favorite ska group, hands down. I love their style, I love what they added to ska classics. I love their messages of racial unity. You'll notice the name Rudy/Rudie a lot in ska music, in reggae. This is from the term "rude boy" or "rude girl" which basically means a street kid, a tough, a punk, a troublemaker. I had fun explaining this to some friends a couple years ago when they were singing Rude Boy by Rihanna.

The Beat - Ranking Full Stop
The Beat (known as The English Beat in the U.S.) is another favorite of mine, also from the 2nd wave in Britain. Their sound is often a mixture of ska and the New Wave sound that was developing at the same time.

Madness - The Prince
You may remember Madness from their song "Our House" but they did have a song on the 2 Tone label . . .

The Clash - Rudie Can't Fail
The Clash aren't really a ska band but they definitely have ska/reggae influence in a lot of their music.

The Police - Canary in a Coalmine
The Police will be a favorite band of mine for life, and one reason is the prevalence of a ska/reggae sound in their music. No shock that they were forming alongside guys like the Specials.

Fishbone - Skankin to the Beat - SUCH A FUN SONG!!!
Now that I think of it, Lloyd Dobler introduced me to ska, not Justin! I love the movie Say Anything, and John Cusack's character, Lloyd Dobler, loved Fishbone. In fact, he wore a Fishbone t-shirt in the scene where Lloyd holes up in the bathroom to call Diane Court and ask her out on a date. I got this soundtrack in my freshman or sophomore year and fell in love with this song, though it was a slightly different version. Justin didn't tell me about ska until senior year of high school. :)

The Mighty Mighty Bosstones - Simmer Down
A nice 90s ska cover of this classic song. The Bosstones were probably the first ska group Justin introduced me to (though not all their stuff can be categorized as ska) (have I said that enough? geez). It's a plaid, plaid world, y'all.

No Doubt - Spiderwebs
No Doubt isn't a ska band but there's no denying that they have ska influences in their music, and there's also no doubt that like it or not, they were one of the factors in ska's resurgence in the 90s. I happen to like No Doubt, though I don't consider them a ska band - just a pop/rock band with ska tendencies . . . at times.

Sublime - Wong Way
Yet another band that wasn't necessarily a ska band, but had a ska/reggae influence, and was out around the same time as full-on ska bands. They helped make the genre accessible to the masses.

O'Phil - Reno
So Justin ended up joining a local ska band, which was the most popular local band of any genre, really, at the time. Interestingly, first Justin was in a teeny ska band of guys we went to high school with, at the same time that I was going to O'Phil shows. O'Phil, like a lot of ska bands, weren't straight up ska, they blended it with other genres, namely punk. I'm sure they could give a much better description of their sound and influences, but that's how it came across to me.

A couple years later, Justin had joined O'Phil and invited me to see them play in a college town (Lawrence, KS) an hour away from my college town. So I made the little road trip, enjoyed the show and catching up with Justin. I think I might have also met Brandi, his then-girlfriend, now-wife. Hi Brandi! :)

So at the show I was sitting near some guys who (it turns out) went to school with me, they'd also made the road trip to see the O'Phil show. We exchanged numbers and I began hanging out with those guys . . . turns out they were in a ska band, too (and actually knew O'Phil - I later went to a show where they both played)! Here they are:

Ruskabank - My Friends

I hung out with these guys a while . . . dated one of them briefly and when that ended, so did my friendships with the band members. I get it, bros before . . . well, whatevs. They were a fun group of guys and their shows were just Tons. Of. Fun.

MU330 - La
I saw these St. Louis ska guys play with O'Phil and a small band (also from Missouri) called Big Bad Chubba. I only remember this because I *still* have a t-shirt from that show. It's a take on the Mountain Dew logo & commercials, and says "Dew the Ska!". In fact, I have a picture of that shirt somewhere on Facebook . . . lemme find it . . . I bought a MU330 CD and a Big Bad Chubba TAPE at that show. Fun Fact: MU330 was named after a music class in the high school where the band members went. I know this because I was talking about the band once with a friend who went to that high school. He's a big music dude and was apparently a few years behind those guys in school.

I was getting ready to perform at a dance competition, so my makeup is a little heavy.

Check it out, y'all - ska isn't dead!

Big D and the Kids Table - Noise Complaint
A co-worker of mine (also from St. Louis so I had fun sharing my MU330 fun fact with him) loves ska and this is maybe his favorite band. I asked him for a couple dance party suggestions . . . he saw them when they were in Chicago recently and got to chat/enjoy a beer with Big D.

Ska is also not dead when you teach your kids to love it!!! This is a video from Yo Gabba Gabba, every hip parent's favorite kids show. I mean, dude - they have Biz Markie on their show regularly. Tell me what's not to love. Pickitup! Pickitup! Pickitup pickitup pickitup!

Spunge - Kicking Pigeons
And this one goes out to Amy and her hatred of Chicago pigeons.

Vampire Weekend - A-Punk
Maybe this is 4th wave ska? Hmm . . . hipster ska.

So, who am I missing?

Wake me up in January . . .

2011-10-13T08:36:00.001-07:00

Life is a little crazy right now.

1. We rent a townhouse and unfortunately, the owners lost the property in foreclosure. We got notice a couple weeks ago to move out in 90 days. We thought our lease would protect us but 90 days is the max we get. There are some provisions for renters under a law passed in 2009 but we fit in a couple of the loopholes so we don’t get to stay unti the end of our lease.

a. The last couple of weeks have been very stressful as we search for a new place to live.

b. We found something! Same school districts, same size, cute. I’m excited because I’m going to lobby to set my sewing machine up in the living room by a window which looks out onto our backyard, a field & trees.

2. This weekend my brother and sister-in-law are coming to visit us, they have business in Chicago.

3. Next weekend we’re going to an engagement party for my friends.

4. The next weekend is our anniversary and will possibly be the weekend we move to the new place.

a. I’m supposed to go thrifting with friends this weekend, I think. Or some weekend.

5. The following weekend is my birthday.

6. The next weekend is when I celebrate my birthday with coworkers (my annual Big Night On The Town).

7. Two weeks later is Thanksgiving.

My Etsy usually takes off in November, and we could use the money with the move and all, so I anticipate the next 6 weeks or so to be complete chaos as we pack, move, unpack and fit in more socializing than we do almost all year. And as I try to sew, knit, photograph, promote, sell and ship my stuff. OH. LAWD. HELP. ME.

I may not be giving you fresh blog content every day or even weekly but at some point I will be back, I promise! I’ll try to at least keep the Dance Party Friday action going . . .

Here are some random pics for you:

My co-worker and lovely model, E. She stopped by my office yesterday and was wearing one of my headbands. :) She’s GAWGEOUS.

Kids . . .

Some knitted cup cozies and fabric-covered buttons that will be in my shop soon! (Each cozy gets a set of 3 buttons)

Happy Thursday, Y’all!!

Dance Party Friday! Middle School Alt Rock Version

2011-09-30T03:30:00.000-07:00

I can never claim to be an indie music fan like Nick Hornsby's character Rob Fleming, in his book & subsequent movie, High Fidelity, but I have listened to some great indie & alt rock in my day.

Semi-related: When I was in 7th grade (1991 or so), I had an english teacher who was SO. COOL. He was young, wore original Doc Martens (the low-top kind that just look like regular shoes) and sponsored the "alternative music" club, which I attended. I think I was the only girl, it was me and a bunch of skaters (skateboarders). He was also my homeroom teacher. I Googled him this week and found him! He's a masseuse in Iowa City. I have some friends in IC, so maybe when I visit them, I should set up a massage appointment and be all REMEMBER ME AND THAT TIME I SUBMITTED A POEM TO THE 7TH GRADE CREATIVE WRITING BOOK THINGIE ABOUT THE HISTORY OF SURFING, EXCEPT IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A SONG, TO THE TUNE OF THE THEME FROM GREEN ACRES? First - yes, I really did that. "Kahanamoku was one wicked dude/T&C make boards that are so rude" is a line I apparently won't forget, ever. Second - that would be so weird and icky. Hi, old english (OE!) teacher. Rub on me. Just . . . no.

Man. I thought I was sooooo in love with surfing back then. Yep. Me, growing up in KS, who had only ever seen the Gulf of Mexico when I was a toddler - I had a big ol' surfing posters on my bedroom walls and knew all the top surfer names and stuff. For about a year or so. I also adopted the yin yang sign as "my" symbol - wore it in jewelry, drew it on everything.

Dude, look. Steve Caballero, Tony Hawk and I don't know who else. 1990s. Skaters. Sk8 or die . . . or something like that.

Back to the point of this post: I had a couple friends who introduced me to some great bands/solo acts. The person who probably had the biggest impact on shaping my musical taste at that young age was my friend Justin. Justin and I met in 7th grade, became buddies and spent lots of time listening to music together. He was a skater and played guitar/bass. In college, he joined a popular local ska/punk band (more about him/them in a future dance party). He also made me several mixtapes back in the day - today I'm going to feature some of those songs.

**disclaimer**

I realize that all of this music may not traditionally fit into the (very broad) genres of indie rock & alt rock, but when I was in 7th grade, we just called ALL of this stuff, "alternative". What's interesting is that the definition of alt rock changed pretty quickly - or at least mainstream U.S. radio changed quickly - and soon called plain old rock - alt rock. Alt rock used to mean rock that could really only be found on college radio, but by the late 90s, everyone was listening to it and it was characterized by groups like Vertical Horizon. And, as I already stated, I'm no aficionado, these are just my opinions.

TRUE MEN DON'T! KILL COYOTES! Old RHCP - my favorite. Blood Sugar Sex Magic was the last full album I really enjoyed by these guys. I liked a song here & there from their later stuff, but their earlier songs are my favorites. I think that Justin may have also put Fight Like a Brave and Higher Ground on some of his mixtapes.

As I mentioned, Justin was a bass player. He LOVED Primus and if you listen to this song, you can hear Les Claypool's ridiculous bass playing. Man, I haven't heard this song in a long time. Say, baby. SAY, BABY!

24/7 Spyz - Understanding - I've actually been trying to find this on youtube forever. This was probably my first time really listening to anything with a reggae sound besides The Police. I remember getting this CD and being disappointed that the rest of their album was more punk than anything else. Nevertheless, this has been a favorite song of mine for about 20 years now, not only because of the sound, but because of the message. And the band themselves - there aren't that many Black punk bands out there, you know?

Ok, this is funny. I was trying to find this song, but I thought it was a song by the Dead Milkmen . . . another band that Justin had on my mixtapes, I'm pretty sure, but I don't remember which song. Anyway, this was a fun little ditty by Scatterbrain.

Look! More Black punk! I don't know if this is the Bad Brains song Justin put on my tapes, but I know he listened to this band, and I like this song, so . . .

I know with all the punk, you wouldn't expect this to find it's way onto a Justin mixtape, but it sure did! I loved this song so much that I bought their CD, devoured the whole thing, and it's still one of my favorite albums. Start to finish, awesome. Happy and melancholy indie rock from the UK. Gotta love it!

R.E.M. was around constantly during my middle & high school years. This is the song Justin put on a mixtape and I remember arguing with him about some of the lyrics. I think their album Out of Time came out around the same time, and I ended up finding most of their old albums and listening to them over and over. I also loved the album that came out after Out of Time, but after that didn't dig into their new stuff. Please note the hairstyle of the skater kid in this video - Justin and his skater friends all had variations of this hairstyle. :) The Justin Bieber-y boys of today got nothing on the original early 90s skater FLOP!

Sure, we all love Been Caught Stealing, but have you ever listened to this song? It's from the same album and it's beautiful.

There are other versions of this song, but this is the one Justin put on my tape, and this is the one I love. If you want to get to know late 80s, early 90s indie rock, go no further. Just get everything the Pixies ever recorded.

What were you listening to in the late 80s, early 90s? Do you have any great indie/alt rock songs to share?

Birthday Suit

2011-09-29T03:30:00.000-07:00

My birthday is in about a month, I'll be 34.

Last year my work BFF and I, who share a birthday week, had a joint party. We went to a few bars - we drank, we ate, we made merry. We attempted to go dancing but it wasn't the best night for dancing and the club we ended up going to was kind of deserted and had a smoke machine going, which forced us to leave because one of our friends has bad asthma. Still, it was an awesome time, and we'll be doing the Ashley/Sara Joint Birthday Extravaganza again this year. Besides the normal dinner/drinks portion of the evening, I'm set on either going dancing or finding a karaoke spot, or maybe both, if we can find the right place(s).

I don't need a lot of cute casual clothes because most of my time is spent at work or at home where I rock t-shirts and pj pants or yoga pants. (Side note - are you a family that wears normal "I can go to the grocery store in this" clothing at home when you know you aren't going anywhere, or are you like my family? We come home and immediately change into SUPER comfortable clothing that doubles as workout gear or sleepwear). Anyway, I have office outfits and a closet full of cardigans and tees/tanks that I wear with jeans and flip flops, or boots, depending on the weather. When I go out with friends, it's almost always drinks right after work with co-workers, so I just wear what I wore to the office that day.

For my birthday this year I want to dress up a bit. I *must* be comfortable - I refuse to spend my special night worrying about how I look or in pain/discomfort. So here is the sort of look I'm going to be shopping for over the next month, which I think is sufficiently cute but would be very comfortable. Most of my friends have closets full of stuff like this, but I don't. I'm excited to see what I can find! What do you think?

Birthday 2011 by oneinthehand featuring skinny jeans

Are you trendy? If you're close to my age or older, do you find it easy to wear the trends of today, or do you (like me) find it difficult to try something new?

How I Spent Six Years of My Life

2011-09-28T03:35:00.000-07:00

I want to learn this dance. That is all.

(It's repeated several times, watch/fast forward until the dude? chick? in the blue shirt starts at 1:45 - s/he gets it!)

Thrift Haul – Office Outfits

2011-09-27T01:26:00.000-07:00

I love, love, love shopping for clothes at thrift stores. When I was younger I used to know a lot of different stores and which had the best clothes of various types. Now I really only shop at one. It’s only a couple blocks from where I live, enormous and full of great clothes, not to mention furniture, household items, shoes (yes, shoes – I’ve found some great ones, the best being two new pairs of Birkenstock clogs), books, etc. But mostly, I go there for the clothes. Most stuff I buy ranges from $0.50 to $4 and I have to REALLY want the item to pay $4. I average $2 an item, I’d say. More expensive than some stores, but less expensive than when it was first in a retail shop, right?

This weekend I hope to meet up with some new Twitter friends for a shopping session at the thrift store, and I’ve been inspired by the outfits put together by my blog/twitter friend Violet. I love, love, love seeing what people do with thrift store clothes, including this one chick who committed to spending no more than $1 per day for a year on her clothes. She buys stuff at the thrift store and makes new clothing. I’ve been inspired to do that quite a bit but haven’t posted the results very often. I think I’ll start doing that more!

Here’s what I got on a recent trip – I didn’t even get everything photographed as I had to run. I spent $30.66 on all the items below plus a few others not featured. It’s kind of a boring collection since it’s all work stuff meant to be jazzed up with accessories & other pieces, but it gives you an idea of the sort of thing I can find at the store by my house.

Here’s a closeup of two pairs of trousers I bought for work. This store has tons of great work pants, really good quality stuff. Of course most of the more expensive brands seem to always be in sizes way too small for me. Rich, skinny bitches . . .

This store is CARDIGAN CITY. ZOMG. It’s also sweater city and I plan to convert some sweaters to cardigans this fall. #ilovemysewingmachine

This is a long sundress that doesn’t fit me, so I’ve turned the skirt portion into a cute cami. I’ve worn it to work once and need to post a pic for you!

This purple cardigan is my fave find from this trip. I’ve worn it to work once over a long-sleeved black top and black pants. That’s kind of my uniform – lots of black with splashes of color. I try to mix it up but always gravitate to that.

This is a t-shirt material (jersey? what kind of sewer AM I to not know this?) swingy cardigan. I’ve worn it over another tank I created from a skirt (from the same thrift store), shown below with the orange cardigan. Yes, the blouse/cardigan motif is standard for me…trying to break out of it but it’s so COMFORTABLE.

My portrait studio . . . the office bathroom.

I bought this sweater to turn it into headbands but my daughter begged to keep it, so I let her. She’s quite a little fashionista – comes up with the cutest, most creative outfits & hairstyles. She’s a brain, music-head and athlete, too. I luffs her.

Love this dress. Might wear it with black tights & boots or heels . . . might shorten it and wear it just as a top. Hmm. What do you suggest?

My youngest wanted to get in on the photo shoot when I was trying on the dress…

Do you shop at thrift stores? Do you wear what you buy as-is or do you alter it via sewing or something else? Do you know of any good thrifting blogs?

Dance Party Friday: Embarrassingly Obsessed Version

2011-09-23T03:52:00.000-07:00

You may or may not know that I have dance parties in my bathroom late at night, usually after I've had some wine. It's just a fun bit of me-time where I listen to the same hot songs over and over again, dance around and pretend I'm 21 again, killing it at the club.

If you know me in real life or follow me on Twitter, Facebook or Livejournal, you also know that I get hooked on musicians and I get hooked on songs - I listen to them over and over and over until I get them out of my system. These phases can last a week, a month, a year. Seriously - a year, sometimes.

WELL. A while back I heard Miguel's song, "All I Want Is You" and I just. About. Died.

What an incredible R&B song! Simple but dynamic, smooth and hot, all at the same time. So I was in my bathroom one night, listening to the song on YouTube, and I noticed over on the right side of the screen, that someone had done a cover of the song, and it had over 100,000 views. Must be a good cover, right?

I had no idea what I was getting myself into when I clicked on that video. Turns out there is this guy. His name is Daniel de Bourg. He's a dancer, a singer, a producer and songwriter. And he is fine. I mean FOINE. I was blown away by his cover and began listening to the others he's done, and was so, so impressed. I mean, yeah – he’s hot. Like, really, really hot. But he’s also got an AMAZING voice. He's got range - technically and stylistically (is that really a word?). And many of his videos feature not just him doing covers, but re-produced versions of the original songs. Lots of the songs are considered “all vox” (all vocals), which means he used his voice alone to recreate the sound of all the backup vocals AND the instruments. Very cool.

And to my small biz friends - branding, right? Check out his videos and you'll see it.

Daniel competed on the X Factor when it was on in England, and made it to the finals. You can download his recordings – he’s got covers and original music. He’s also done a ton of collaborative songs with other musicians.

So are you hooked yet? Just wait – I have a treat for you. But first, some more foolishness, aka TRUE AND MATURE LOVE.

So do you want to check out some of his music? I know you do!

Here's the first song of his that I heard: All I Want Is You – Miguel ft. J. Cole

This is another Miguel cover, and maybe my favorite of Daniel's - it's the song that caused many of us to fan ourselves starting at 0:44 . . . Sure Thing - Miguel

Rolling in the Deep – Adele

MOAR!!!

Without You – David Guetta ft. Usher (this Daniel de Bourg version includes another singer, J Rice) - Happy pop! I love, love, love this song. Such a great singer's song!

Chasing Cars – Snow Patrol - Daniel's version

Fall for Your Type - Jamie Foxx ft. Drake - Daniel's version - Sigh. So pretty.

Until the End of Time – Justin Timberlake - Daniel's version

LoveSexMagic – Ciara & Justin Timberlake HOT DANCE TRACK - Daniel's version featuring a dancing cameo from a friend

Sooner Than Later – Drake (this Daniel de Bourg version includes another singer, Josh Lehman) - Quiet, acoustic guitar

Head High & Smile – Daniel de Bourg – From Daniel's YouTube page: "A good friend of mine wrote a poem for his son a while back now. Little James was battling cancer and Brian poured his heart into a lyric that, when I heard it, I felt compelled to compose and perform a song based on that same poem. This is the resulting song, HEAD HIGH & SMILE. Much love to you James, Brian & Michelle Hatherley. DDB"

Let the Sun Shine – Labrinth – Daniel's version - quiet, piano, passion!

One (Your Name) – Swedish House Mafia – Daniel dances on this one and has a lot of fun making ridic faces AND it was filmed in his bathroom! I KNEW WE WERE MEANT TO BE TOGETHER - Daniel's version - Listen to the SHM version for a few seconds and then listen to Daniel's and see how he replicates the sound with his voice. Love it!

Say It – Ne-Yo – Daniel's version - Ok, this song is hot in the first place, but then him SANS SHIRT in the background . . . MAN.

Celebration – Tank, Trey Songz, Chris Brown & Drake – Daniel sings this one w/Josh Lehman. Pretty & simple. This song? #GrownFolkMusic

And now? I hide from everyone who will ever read this.

Fabric Love – Sharing is Caring!

2011-09-21T09:51:00.001-07:00

Here’s some great fabric friends have given or sold me in recent months.

Lovely houndstooth from the lovely Hannah of Peggy Ann Design.

Some nice thick upholstery-style fabric in one of my favorites – black and white. This came in a package of scrap fabric from Ali of Apearantly Sew. The rest of the scraps are so cute, can’t wait to use them in a variety of little projects.

And now, the Box O’ Wonders from Alicia in Iowa City (who guest hosted Dance Party Friday a while back).

Here we have an Anne Lamott book (love her), a DVD about the Lost Boys of Sudan and a little booklet about Miss Pearl who runs a daycare on the South Side of Chicago which offers free services to young moms who are finishing school – high school, college, technical training. Miss Pearl began this years ago and her daycare has grown into a large one, known in the community, funded by donors, grants and the state. Church groups and college kids volunteer at Miss Pearl’s – Alicia did, years ago. She’s the person who told me about Miss Pearl.

What else did Alicia send in her box? Let’s see . . .

(Alicia drew on some envelopes that contained loose items)

All kinds of knitting needles

A little handmade paper booklet

Seriously cool business cards from Alicia and her husband Tony’s print shop, Cicada Grove

Cicada Grove postcards

Fabric! Vintage fabric.

A skirt to wear or use for fabric

Fabric pinwheels

Fabric ribbon

Sequins on a rope! Sequiny trim. I don’t know what to call this stuff, but I like it.

WHEE!!!!!!!

Dance Party Friday?

2011-09-16T10:21:00.000-07:00

Hey, y'all, I'm busy at work & about to leave to go to a work picnic where I plan to blow everyone's mind with my haven't-played-soccer-since-high-school-but-I'm-still-the-bomb skills . . . so I don't have a dance party for you today. I know - sad face.

BUT! I bet you haven't caught all the dance parties, ever, so just go over there to the right, where I have a search bar on my blog,

------------------------------------------------------------->

type in "dance party" and you'll get pages of old dance parties that you can go through. There's surely a dance party for whatever mood you're in today. Have fun and tell me what you want to hear next week!

Things To Make You Laugh

2011-09-15T01:51:00.000-07:00

Here are a few things around Ye Olde Internets(e) that gave me a laugh:

From McSweeney’s:

An Open Letter to Pumpkin-Flavored Seasonal Treats

“Dear Pumpkin-Flavored Seasonal Treats, So you’re back. You just come waltzing into town like nothing has happened, like nothing has changed. Don’t look at me like that. You’re the one who left for a year with no explanation, no warning. No note. And I’m just supposed to be okay with that? . . .”

It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers

“I don’t know about you, but I can’t wait to get my hands on some fucking gourds and arrange them in a horn-shaped basket on my dining room table. That shit is going to look so seasonal. I’m about to head up to the attic right now to find that wicker fucker, dust it off, and jam it with an insanely ornate assortment of shellacked vegetables. When my guests come over it’s gonna be like, BLAMMO! Check out my shellacked decorative vegetables, assholes. Guess what season it is—fucking fall. There’s a nip in the air and my house is full of mutant fucking squash . . .”

From Kristen of Rage Against the Minivan, at Aiming Low

Homeless, Hipster or Redneck: A Guide to Distinguishing the Younger Generation (I’m still wondering if there is a guide for telling the difference between Appalachian Hipster and Dust Bowl Hipster)

“ . . . The hipster mustache was already alarming to me, and the hipster beard has frequently made it difficult for me to distinguish between film students and homeless people. There have been occasions where I’ve seen a guy with an overgrown beard and torn jeans and assumed he’s an indigent, only to observe a few minutes later that he’s listening to NPR on his iphone 4 and wearing Tom’s shoes.

If I’m honest, there was also an occasion where I saw a scruffy guy and thought he looked pretty hot in an artsy, rock-star way, only to watch him lay down on a cardboard pallet next to a shopping cart of his belongings.

IT’S CONFUSING. . .”

From Awesomely Luvvie

10 Things that Happened at the 2011 VMAs

“ . . . THEN she came onstage to perform. She started with “I want you to feel the love that’s growing inside of me” and I ain’t gon lie. My thug went “SCREECH!” AAWWWWWW!!! Then she proceeded to SLAY in a performance of “Love on Top” that felt so joyful. And she sounded all good and stuff. Pregnancy coated Bey’s throat with ambrosia and nectar of awesome. I was all “Aight, come thoo and GIVE then Queen Yawnce!” And as she finished, she opened up her #sequence jacket and . . .”

From The Bloggess

Dear Portlandia, Really?

“ . . . Also, I really hope that they don’t get sued by Portland for intellectual property rights, because that shit would be unacceptable. Satire should be supported at all costs. Unless it’s a parody of satire. Then things get murky, apparently. . .”

Aaaaand:

No idea who created this, but I love you.

***

Don't forget, I'm offering a 25% discount on all items in my Etsy shop until the end of the day. Just use the code: 25forU at checkout! Hooray for 250 sales!

250 Sales? THAT IS CRAZY TALK.

2011-09-14T09:31:00.001-07:00

Y’all. I just received my 250th sale. For reals! It was for this sweet cup cozy:

To celebrate, I’m offering a 25% discount on all items in my shop, today and tomorrow! Just use the coupon code 25forU when checking out your order.

Thank you all so much for the support, purchases, feedback and promotion – I couldn’t have gotten this far without you!

Thrift Store Fashion

2011-09-13T01:04:00.000-07:00

I like to buy clothing at the thrift store, especially one just a couple blocks from where I live. It’s massive and has great finds, from vintage to name-brand to everything in between. The other day I was there with my daughter and we came across a shirt that she liked, but it had a big hole in it (actually unusual for this store, most merchandise isn’t damaged). She’d already pointed out a dress she liked that had tiered ruffles, so I decided to try to recreate the look of the dress with the top she liked.

You’ll have to excuse my messy photos – I didn’t bother to clean up my work table before starting in on the project. Now you see what my small IKEA sewing table looks like 95% of the time, including when I’m sewing. It just collects so much crap that I don’t have a good space for or am too preoccupied to put away. My husband, the neat-freak, has somehow learned to live with my messy chaos. Poor guy!

Besides buying the damaged top, I also bought a like-new black tank top to use as the base of the top. Without detailing every step, I’ll give these basic explanations about how I constructed the top:

The plaid blouse had a cowl neck, smocked front and little puffy sleeves. I cut off the sleeves, cowl neck and back of the shirt, so I only had the smocked front. I cut the neckline until it was the shape I wanted, hemmed it and sewed it to the front of the tank top.

I then cut the lower portion of the top into equal sized strips to be the ruffles, hemmed the (visible) bottom of each ruffle, and sewed the top part of the ruffle to the tank top. I created gathers as I sewed the strip so that it would create ruffles and not just hang flat. I believe I created 6 ruffles. Then I sewed down the sides of each ruffle along the side seams of the tank top. She’ll wear the tank alone or with a cardigan over it. The end!

Cute, huh?

We love the library!

2011-09-12T01:48:00.000-07:00

My dad brought me up going to the library at least once a week and I’ve passed this tradition on to my kids. The thing that overwhelms me about the library – that I’ll never have time to read everything there – is also what I love so much about it. So much to learn about the world, right there at your fingertips! Though my online writing doesn’t always reflect it, I learned grammar, spelling and the roots of words just from reading all the time as a kid. When you see something done the right way long enough, it seeps in and you become able to do it right, too . . . or at the very least, you learn how to spot when someone else is doing it wrong.

Here are a few pics from a recent trip to the branch that’s 3 blocks from our house. My four-year-old wants to go to school so badly, and was over the moon when my husband brought home a Thomas the Tank Engine backpack for him. He just HAD to wear it to the library to carry his books home.

Most of these pics are of the kids' area at our small branch. I’d have taken pics of the tiny young adult & adult sections, but there were lots of people and I didn’t want to try to sneak photos.

The castle

Inside the castle. We usually put together a massive train set in here.

We cut off all his curls. Sniff. He always seems so much older when his hair is big and curly.

LOTS of books for beginning readers.

To the left of King Tut are cool non-fiction DVDs for kids, like “How to Knit” and so on.

The little one loves lighting up all these panels and looking at the different dinosaurs.

Mama wants some fun, too!

Do you go to the library often?

What sort of books do you like to read?

New to My Shop: Headbands

2011-09-08T01:39:00.000-07:00

I’ve put off putting new items into my Etsy shop for the longest time. Some of my delay was due to perfecting the items, some due to spending my time on other things, and some due to just being scared to take the risk!

I finally did it, though, and you can see the headbands I have listed here. Below is a sneak peak of a few, just for you. What do you think?

And here are some that I don’t have listed yet because I still need to do some more photo shoots with my lovely co-worker models:

Different Seasons, Different Ashleys

2011-09-07T01:26:00.000-07:00

I’ve noticed that I behave differently when the seasons change. During the summer all I want to do is relax, enjoy the outdoors, go on little adventures, grill, and chill, chill, chill. Summers make me want to be lazy in terms of responsibility, and active when it comes to fun activity.

In the fall, I get domestic and more interested in taking care of the house and cooking. When I see a table that needs to be cleared of dirty dishes, I feel energy to do it rather than dreading it. I also get excited to find creative and involved ways of doing domestic things. I don’t just like to buy bread, I want to bake bread from scratch! I want to learn to can! I plan menus and try new recipes!

We’ve had a humid summer until the last couple of weeks where we had some cooler temps, another round of humidity, and then finally, this weekend – lower temps. 54 degrees! Obviously a sign that football season is starting (we’re a Bears household and Brian Urlacher, who my son prays for, is #54). Anyway, tonight we cooked chili and cornbread and I didn’t ask my husband to cook the whole meal as I’ve done all summer.

I’m excited to experience some of my favorite fall things (click on each photo to purchase the object shown!):

Sweaters

Boots

Football games (specifically, high school games – such great memories!)

Cold weather food (hot & hearty)

Return of favorite TV shows (looking forward to Parenthood and Sons of Anarchy if I can figure out how to watch the new season without cable)

My birthday (SCORPIO WHAT WHAT!!!)

Coming up with a complex meal plan that uses leftover food from the night before in a new way and then sticking to the plan for about 2 days

Knitting

Etsy sales

Reading books and watching movies all snuggled up with hot coffee (I’ve done this not snuggled up with iced coffee all summer)

Do you change with the seasons? What are some of your favorite fall activities?

Amish Twilight, Pioneer Twilight

2011-09-06T07:54:00.001-07:00

The other day someone on Twitter mentioned Manor House, a reality series from PBS that follows modern-day people who are picked to live for a few months in a manor house from 1905, who are expected to live the way people did back then. They have to obtain food the way people did back then, follow the customs of the old times, use the same tools, wear the same clothes. They’re assigned certain social standing and have to live out their role without breaking character based on what that sort of person would have done back then. I was excited to hear about this as I’ve already seen PBS’s Frontier House and Colonial House which follow the same concepts.

I decided then that I needed to write about something I like to call #AmishTwilight and #PioneerTwilight. You may or may not be aware of a genre of books written mainly for women, set in a couple of very specific settings. Just as you have science fiction and mystery and romance genres in books, you also have subgenres of historical fiction. A couple very popular subgenres focus on women living in the pioneer days of the United States, and women in Amish communities during the last 50 years or so.

These books are sometimes written on their own, but much of the time they’re part of series, just like Harry Potter or V.C. Andrews. Yes, I read V.C. Andrews and I read her stuff waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyy earlier than I ever should have. You all know what Flowers in the Attic is, right? ‘Nuff said. Oh, are you familiar with the ABC Family series of movies that are all like, “Love’s Enduring Promise” and “Love’s Unending Faith” and “Love’s Pithy Remark” and so on? Those movies (which are based on a series of books) are a perfect example #PioneerTwilight.

You have a central character which is a Headstrong Young Women making her way out west with her family, sometime in the 1800’s. Unfortunate events happen. Axles break, people get dysentery – I mean, what is this, the Oregon Trail? Oh, yes, it kind of is. So HYW must make a way out of no way (Amen) and at some point she falls in love and has babies. The series of books follows her and the other characters, and in some cases she gets old and the books focus on her daughter who is of course a HYW. And so on.

Now, #AmishTwilight is usually in more modern times, but are usually based in Lancaster County, PA – or someplace similar – in the middle of an Amish community. The stories focus on a (you guessed it) HYW who is butting up against her Amish upbringing in some way. Maybe she (Ruth) loves Jakob but her father wants her to marry Caleb! And she doesn’t just want to be a midwife, she want to be a doctor! But only Englischers (the rest of us) put faith in that sort of thing . . . Oh man, once I read a series where the main HYW was in love with - wait for it – A MENNONITE!!!!! *gasp*

I know, y’all. This is heady stuff. So – these sort of books are like brain candy for me. I’ve ALWAYS loved historical fiction of all types and I’ve always loved books that detail the way people cooked, farmed, raised animals, made clothes, etc – back in the old days before everything was automated. As a girl I ate up the Little House on the Prairie series as well as Anne of Green Gables. Well, #AmishTwilight and #PioneerTwilight are the grown up versions of these series.

Oh, and what’s with the Twilight? Well, they’re series of books – so, Twilight. The main character is a HYW – Twilight (though I’ll say, dude, Bella turned really wishy washy and consumed with Edward, and ew?). Focus on the dude HYW is in love with – Twilight. Easy reading that is a nice break for your brain – Twilight. Obsessive following of readers – Twilight. All these things about Twilight are also part and parcel for the Amish & Pioneer series of books.

Next time you’re looking for some good reading that doesn’t require much brain activity but is fun and culturally interesting, check out these authors:

#PioneerTwilight: Janette Oke, Tracie Peterson, Lauraine Snelling

#AmishTwilight: Cindy Woodsmall, Marta Perry, Beth Wiseman, Wanda Brunstetter

And y’all, there are TONS more. Just ask your librarian.

Dance Party Friday! Don't Call It A Comeback Edition

2011-09-02T09:57:00.000-07:00

Ok, I guess you can call it a comeback. WELCOME BACK TO BLOGLAND, ASHLEY!! Oh wait, is that what you're supposed to say to me?

Anyway, I'm back. Being without social media hurt at first, but I got used to it, and will move forward with the intention of keeping it low key.

Today's DPF is going to be all about musicians and bands that made a comeback. Some came out with a new album after a long time away from the music scene . . . some came back with a tour after breaking up and saying they'd never play together again . . . some came back as a solo artist or as part of a group, when previously they'd performed otherwise . . . but all made an impact when they came back on the scene.

What's Love Got to Do With It was her big comeback hit, but I have a special place in my heart for Private Dancer, as I like to say, "I'm not your private dancer" when people tell me what to do.

We all love Johnny Cash, right? RIGHT? I resisted getting into him because everyone around me was gaga for him, but eventually couldn't hold out any longer. There is so much about him I identify with and admire. This is a great song (written by the dude from Danzig, what?!) on the American Recordings album that Cash did with Rick Rubin, decades after his prominence in the 60s and 70s.

Now, Prince wasn't completely out of the scene between this album (Diamonds and Pearls) and his prior hit, Purple Rain . . . but by this time he was battling his record company over his name, had lost Wendy and Lisa and gained a symbol and a set of twins.

Weezer did put out Pinkerton between their blue and green albums, but did anyone really listen to it? Ok, I did. And then, you know, Rivers kept going back to school and being moody and stuff. BUT THEN! Came this awesome album and a handful of amazing ditties.

So Jay-Z? Jay-Z is the Michael Jordan/Brett Favre of hip hop. One day he's retiring (Black Album) and the next thing you know he's blowing up radio all over the place with this huge, huge hit.

The Eagles are one of my favorite bands, I'd say a top 10 band for me. I daydream about going to one of their concerts, but dangit, tickets are expensive! Their famous comeback concert tour and album was named Hell Freezes Over because back in the day, they swore they'd never play together again. This is one of my favorite songs. Joe Walsh is the bomb.

I hope you've all had the pleasure of being Rickrolled. If not, well, it's something that has to happen to you. Ask a friend in the know to do it to you as a surprise one day. Here's Rick Astley singing his biggest hit (woop woop, this was my favorite song for approximately one full year as a kid) which gave him a comeback in popularity due to the whole Rickroll thing. Good for him. He's a good looking dude, by the way. Just saying.

You may not know of this comeback song with Ne-Yo (I personally like it), but honestly, NKOTB didn't need to record ANYTHING new. They came back touring with a vengeance and I partook, yes I did!! It was a great time with friends and thousands of fellow fans who had over-the-top obsessive crushes on these guys (too). I was always a Jordan girl, but I gotta say, Donnie grew up REAL NICE.

Loretta Lynn is a musician I always knew of, but only began listening to in the last couple of years. She teamed up with Jack White (Oh, I Love Him So) for an entire album that cemented a comeback for her after decades of consistent work that just wasn't as commercially successful as her 60s and 70s albums. Wait, didn't I just say that? Interesting that she & Johnny Cash had similar paths in this respect.

Who's missing from my list? What comeback blew you away?

Social Media Break in August

2011-08-01T07:36:00.000-07:00

I recently spent a few days in my hometown of Wichita, Kansas, and had a great time with family and friends. While there I noted (not for the first time) that I wasn’t as connected to them as I’d like. Then on the drive home to Chicago, my husband and I were talking about how much time I spend on social media, which is easily accesible via my smart phone. We’ve agreed for a long time that I spend too much time on social media and not enough time on the face-to-face relationships in my life.

I’m not going to knock social media, after all, I’m a big fan. I love being able to connect with people I already know even though we’re miles apart, and I love meeting new friends online. I’ve developed some very deep friendships with people I only know online, or whom I first met online. Most of my time on social media these days is very shallow, however, and even my close online friends have been neglected.

Cutting back on social media has been a goal of mine for a while, and my husband also has a different goal he’s working on meeting (which I’m not going to detail here). So we agreed that we would each work on these things – for my part, I will be “fasting” from social media during the enire month of August.

I will not use:
Google Plus
Facebook
Twitter
Livejournal
Pinterest
Words With Friends

This blog (i.e. I won't be posting after today until September - hope you'll stick around!)

(or any of my other rarely-visited sites, like LinkedIn, Ravelry)

I will still:
Read some blogs
G-chat with co-workers
List items on Etsy
Participate in any online discussions for my Etsy team as I hold a responsibility to them
Respond to email
Text on my phone, but only to people, not to social sites (I texted to Twitter/Facebook before having a smart phone)

I decided to keep doing certain things like email and text because part of what I need to work on is connecting with the already established, solid friendships and family in my life. Instead of telling my friends or family the little things happening in my day, I’ve been telling Twitter, Facebook and Google+. Combine the number of people following me on those sites, and I’ve been sending thoughts, videos, questions out to 600-700 people . . . and losing touch with the 10-15 people who mean the most to me.

Another part of what I need to work on is feeling like every little thought I have must be broadcast to the world . . . and feeling disappointment during good parts of my life, because I can’t broadcast it. It’s one thing to enjoy watching your kid ride his new bike for his birthday, and it’s another to spend most of those moments of excitement and joy holding your phone up to try & get a good photo of him to share with the hundreds who follow you.

While I don’t think I’ve gone on a full social media fast before, I’ve done specific fasts for Lent and “just because” before – no Livejournal or no Facebook, for example. It was hard at first and then I got used to it. I expect this to be pretty difficult for me because I admit to getting a lot of validation from my various online worlds. Compliments on my humor, taste or perspective on life are major ego boosts and that’s going to be tough to let go, not to mention the fun of online interaction. I’m going to have to work on my impulse control, on being more mindful and intentional about how I spend my time.

Doing this doesn’t come without fear. I’m scared of failing – reading things I shouldn’t be reading, saying, “SCREW THIS!” and posting something somewhere. I’m scared that people I like will drop me because of my absence (and yes, I know that if they did that they’re weren’t really my friends – that is neither here nor there, it’s still a fear). I’m scared that when the month is over, I won’t be interested in maintaining those friendships. This will make me sad because, well, I like all of you. Additionally, I don’t want to have to tell someone, “I’m scaling back to those really important to me and you didn’t make the cut.” Most of all, I’m scared that eventually I’ll find myself in this same situation again. I suppose if that happens I’ll just need to try again. And if it happens again, I’ll need to try again. And again. I should probably not look at this as a one-time-fix-all sort of thing, rather a detox period that I need RIGHT NOW and that can be repeated in various ways in the future.

So – I’ll be gone during August, which will be a busy month for me anyway. I’ll see you in September and I guess we’ll see then how I did and what changes I made. If you need to get in touch with me, I’m at OneInTheHand.etsy@gmail.com.

Wish me luck!

Baby Shower Advice: Relax

2011-07-27T08:48:00.001-07:00

Gina from the Hiya Luv blog invited me to be part of a virtual baby shower for Mandy of the Mandipidy blog. Mandy is soon due to have her first bebe, and I was happy to agree! At many baby showers, guests are asked to write down a note of advice for the mom-to-be, so that’s what I’m going to do today.

My advice? Relax. Don’t try to plan everything. When things don’t go as you planned, go with the flow. Relax.

My husband and I found out we were going to have our first child when he was in the Army, I was a junior in college and we weren’t anywhere close to marriage. We were completely shocked, overwhelmed and honestly, terrified. I spent the majority of my pregnancy worrying. Worrying about

I won’t say having a baby that way was easy – it wasn’t – and I wouldn’t recommend that method to anyone else. Things were difficult financially and we were trying to figure out who WE were as adults at the same time we were trying to figure out how to parent and how to shape our child.

Now, almost 13 years later, we have a daughter who’s soon to turn 12, and sons who just turned 10 and 4. We’ve been married 10 years, and while those weren’t always easy years, we’re happy and proud to have created a stable, happy family. Our kids honestly rock – they’re sweet, smart, talented, cute and funny. They care about people. They don’t get *everything* a kid could want – partly because we can’t afford that and partly because we don’t think that’s good for kids…and they have been taught to appreciate what they have.

So why the long story about our tough time starting out? Well, because I am now at the age when many of my peers are beginning to have their own kids, and I see them planning away. Sometimes, things don’t go as they planned, and they really struggle with the anxiety and fear that they feel. Even though I am a person who likes to plan things so I can be prepared, I suppose I’m also one who is flexible enough to go with the flow when my plans decide they don’t like me. :) With parenting, so much you plan for isn’t going to happen. Or it will happen slightly differently. Or it will happen . . . two years after you thought it would. And that’s ok. It really is.

Life throws curveballs at us – you as an individual and a spouse must already know this. With kids thrown in the mix, the curveballs seem to come more frequently, or maybe we’re just less able to catch them bec ause our hands are busy changing diapers and pushing swings. You, as a mother and wife, you totally can handle those curveballs. You can! And your family isn’t going to go down the drain if things don’t happen perfectly. If you live in a cramped home for a few years, your kids will be fine. If they have to miss out on camp one summer because you’re moving or there is a death in the family, they will be fine. If the school in your area isn’t the greatest, they will be fine. It’s just up to you as the parent to see what your kids’ needs are, and then fill in the gaps where you can. If their school isn’t the best, you take extra time at home to teach them. If they miss camp one year . . . they may just miss camp one year. If they have to share a room with a sibling, cool – they’re learning how to get along with others.

So, Mandy, relax and let life happen. Plan what you can, and then remember that plans don’t always come to fruition, and that doesn’t mean it’s the end of the world. Teach your kids to be able to handle most circumstances by MODELING that behavior. Teach them to be content with what they have by modeling that. Teach them to get creative when they’re stuck inside due to the weather.

Take a deep breath, remember that people all over have survived and THRIVED in worse circumstanes, and relax. It’s the easiest way to enjoy your family.

Shop Giveaway!

2011-07-25T05:41:00.001-07:00

Y'all need to head over to my friend Karen's blog ROT NAIL and enter to win $30 in credit in my shop! You can also get a 20% off discount code.

Karen is a sweetheart living in Korea, she and her husband just adopted the most beautiful little girl from Ukraine. Her blog is full of awesome photos, definitely take a look around while you're over there!

Dance Party Friday! Mix It Up

2011-07-22T07:13:00.000-07:00

Today's Dance Party is going to be a mixture of good stuff I've run across, or been reminded of lately. Who knows, maybe you'll be saying Ooooooh...they're playing my song!!

First is a little Blue Eyed Soul...the best kind, from Britain! I was looking for All I Want Is You by Miguel on YouTube the other night, and came across a video of this guy - Daniel de Bourg, who is a great singer. He's gotten YouTube famous by doing tight covers of some great R&B songs, including several where he does all the backing tracks - vocals and instruments - just with his voice. He's cute, too. Anyway - enjoy this song and then look up the rest of his stuff on YouTube.

@BabylonSista from Twitter was listening to this and reminded me of my love for U2. In high school, a few guys did a lip-sync to this song. One guy who looked like the Edge sat on a chair on stage, with the stage curtains pulled all the way to each side of him, and the other guys stuck their hands out and messed with his face and all that. It was pretty funny. I should note that the next year my friends and I lip-synced to the theme from Shaft and I got to wear a vintage patchwork leather coat and stacked boots. Lots of lip-syncs in my high school years...

Here we have a special request from M. Enjoy, buddy. I really hope you enjoy that U2 song up there, too. :)

Here's a new song by the Avett Brothers, from an online performance on CMT.com. I can't wait for their new album! Did you know I and Love and You was produced by Rick Rubin? It sure was. You can see more "unplugged" performances of Avett Bros. favorites here.

I love the Shins, I love this song. I came across it again recently and have listened to it a couple times a day over the last week or so. So much energy yet kind of jaded and doubting. This is such a great example of indie pop.

This one goes out to Jeanna . . . KNEE DEEP IN THE HOOPLA. I think Grace Slick knows about Joann's Phoenix Jacket Junction, too.

A friend said something about ATCQ's Midnight Marauders album and I said something about The Low End Theory, which is my favorite of theirs. This is a great song from that album. Have I told you the story of how I met my husband? It has to do with us connecting over Tribe. I'll always love them, can't wait to see the movie about them, directed by another favorite of mine - Michael Rapaport. ZEBRAHEAD!!! If you know what that is, I love you. Let's be BFF.

I've just begun watching Sons of Anarchy, an FX tv show about a Northern California motorcycle club, via Netflix. I like it, plan to watch the rest of the series, but wish it had been done by HBO or Showtime. I'd have liked to see what they could have done with the show if they'd had less boundaries. This is the theme song.

If you're a Chicago Blackhawks fan, or a Chicago resident, or a hockey fan, you've probably heard this song a bazillion times. It's what they play when the Blackhawks score a goal and was played ad nauseum last year when they won the Stanley Cup. Heard it recently for the first time in a long time. Good song, great band name.

Any requests?

Small Change mattered to Eboni

2011-07-19T02:25:00.000-07:00

Hooray! Another great update from Chicago’s Emergency Fund, the organization I’ll be donating 10% of my Etsy profits to this year. I’m posting some of the stories they send to supporters so you can have an idea of what impact they make in the Chicago area.

* * *

Small Change Mattered to Eboni

Small Change Matters

In our day-to-day lives, it's easy to forget that these three words are true. But here at the Emergency Fund, we know that small change does matter. It mattered to Joseph. It mattered to Roxanna and Lashon. It mattered to Charlie.

And it certainly mattered to Eboni.

It was a sunny, March afternoon in Chicago, and seven-year-old Desaree couldn’t wait to get outside. It was the first warm day of the year, and she grinned when she heard the familiar music of the ice cream truck jingling toward her grandmother’s house.

As usual, Desaree finished her ice cream before her sisters and ran to her cousin’s blue scooter while her family sat on the front porch. When the bullet struck her head, she didn’t know what had hit her.

Desaree’s mother, Eboni, was startled awake by banging on her front door. Pregnant with her fourth daughter, she was napping before her evening security shift when she awoke to face her worst nightmare. No one could even tell her where Desaree had been shot.

Eboni waited for hours as Desaree’s condition was upgraded from critical to guarded. She kept vigil over her first-grader’s medically induced coma. She was there every time her little girl woke up from surgery. And when Desaree was released a month later, Eboni knew she would do whatever it took to keep her daughter safe from the gang that had begun harassing her family.

Eboni found a new home in a safe neighborhood – she could pay the rent, she just couldn’t afford the security deposit. Small change for some of us, it was an insurmountable obstacle for Eboni.

That’s why the Emergency Fund is here. We provide the small change that empowers our clients to get back on their feet and keep going. With our help, Eboni moved her family away from the violence and into a safe home.

Small Change Matters for people like Eboni. Whether it’s a bus pass to get to a job interview, or a security deposit that helps a family move into a safe home, when someone is close to the edge a small change can make all the difference.

Please, make a donation to the Emergency Fund today. Together we will make the small change that changes lives.

Donate today and your new or increased gift will be matched* by an anonymous donor!

*Double your impact! An anonymous donor is matching all new or increased gifts. That means that 100% of first-time gifts and gifts from donors who have not given since 2008 will be matched. For those who gave in 2009 or 2010, any amount above the highest annual gift amount in 2009 and 2010 will be matched.

IT'S ALIVE!!

2011-07-18T16:26:00.001-07:00

My ability to blog from my phone, that is. I might even be able to post pics! Let's try... Ok, one pic of a downtown Chicago planter - loaded.

Let's try one more and see how that works...coneflowers by a neighbor's garage window.

Time to hit "publish" and flip out when it works!

Dance Party Friday! Harry Potter

2011-07-15T06:45:00.000-07:00

Google+ is already doing great things in my life. I asked what today's Dance Party Friday theme should be and got two responses: "Angst. Pure, unadulterated angst." and "Harry Potter, natch."

Though those themes could be intertwined, I've found enough songs to go along with a Harry Potter-only theme that I'm gonna shelve Angst for today and visit it again, maybe next week. So, for all you HP fans, today's DPF is for you! I know y'all are still asleep after catching the midnight show last night, so maybe you can check out the DPF when you wake up this afternoon.

I am a fan of the Harry Potter books. I didn't think I would be, but finally decided to give them a try. By this time all the books had been published and my local library had several copies of each, so I didn't have to wait when it was time to move on to the next book. I gotta say, I really dug the books, especially as I got further into the series and the themes grew more mature. There were some slow or redundant parts, sure, but there were some really funny parts, some really scary parts and some really touching parts. One day I'll read them again, and I'm sure my kids will enjoy them soon.

So . . . here we go!

I love the Eagles, so am happy to kick off DPF with one of their songs. This was a suggestion by Marissa. As are several other songs today. Thanks, Marissa!!

Ok - check it out, there are ALL KINDS of awesome versions of "I Put A Spell On You", so I'm going to do a short DPF within a DPF and do a quick rundown of all the great versions:

Van Morrison

Nina Simone

The Animals

Joss Stone & Jeff Beck

Screamin' Jay Hawkins

Thin Lizzy

CCR

She & Him

Ron's mom won't be having this, you guys.

Do You Believe in Magic? You know, Lovin' Spoonful, I'm not sure. This is a long conversation and I'm not sure we have time for it right now.

AIR SUPPLY, Y'ALL!!!

Black Magic Woman - Santana - great old school concert footage (even with the karaoke lyrics)!

Aww yeah, Hufflepuff, you know what's up . . . fun video.

Wizard by Black Sabbath. Dude, I could probably just post their entire catalog for this post. And Stevie Nicks, right?

Magic Potion by Open Mind. I like the mix of 60s fashion, psychedelics and plain weirdness of this video.

Man, oh man. Can a band get more emo? I love you but I've chosen darkness!!! Album title: Fear is on our side.

Add this song title to the name of the next group...

Flying Cars! Get it? Bonus song title on this one.

Alright, y'all. What other songs should be added to the Harry Potter Dance Party Friday?

Kevin tipped me off to a list of 25 Wizardry-related songs. Thanks, dude!

Possibly unusual safety tips for kids

2011-07-13T01:05:00.000-07:00

Every once in a while, my husband and I go over safety tips with our kids. I don’t know that the things we teach our kids are that conventional, but I believe in them whole-heartedly.

1. If you’re in an emergency situation – if someone is hurt or is about to be hurt, if something is damaged or about to be damaged, if something really bad is going to happen and you need a way to stop it, it’s ok to break rules. It’s ok to scream in a public place. It’s ok to cuss your head off to get the attention of someone who can help you. It’s ok to interrupt me if I’m on the phone. It’s ok to talk to a stranger.

2. If you’re lost or need help from a grownup, don’t look for a police officer or someone who’s wearing a uniform – find someone who looks like a mom, a grandma, an aunt. Find a woman. Go to a woman with kids. Look, my Dad is a cop, I’m not saying people in uniform are bad. But – I feel more danger from men who would hurt kids than from women. And there aren’t usually people in uniform everywhere you go. But there are almost always women and moms. I know if a kid came up to me needing help, I would do anything I could to help that kid.

3. If someone comes up on you and tells you to be quiet or they’ll hurt you, you scream your head off. Think about it – if you ARE quiet, they ARE going to hurt you. That’s what they want to do. What they don’t want is to be noticed by anyone else. You kick, scratch, scream, bite, anything you need to do, but you do NOT obey.

4. On the other hand, if they tell you they want your money, give it over immediately. Don’t try to be a hero. You just have to use your best judgment – are they trying to hurt you or rob you? If they just want your stuff, give it to them and call the cops afterward. If you’re in a store or bank and someone tries to rob the place, become as invisible as you can and obey the robber. Don’t try to be a hero and don’t try to outsmart the robber. Most robbers aren’t brilliant, practiced jewel thieves like what you see in the movies. Rather, they’re hopped up on drugs or scared they’re going to get caught, and their trigger finger is itchy. Don’t give them any reason to freak out.

I’ve tried to balance safety tips like this with “puppies and unicorns, life is safe and happy” – I don’t want to freak them out unnecessarily . . . but I would rather them be a little scared – and prepared – than naïve and unsure of what to do in a bad situation. Obviously, when we’re in these situations, we don’t always think straight and may not do any of the things we thought we would. But sometimes we can, and those things can make a difference.

Do you have any safety tips you practice, or have taught to your kids?

John couldn’t wait that long

2011-07-12T01:55:00.000-07:00

* * *

Here at the Emergency Fund, we know that our promise to provide help immediately and without red tape is crucial to our clients. It's especially important when the person in need is facing a tragedy so unexpected that they had no possible way to prepare for it. That's what happened to John.

Fifty-year-old John is a hardworking father, a man who had proudly raised his children with his wife, Becky. He thought he was done with parenthood and had happily settled into the life of the doting grandfather when tragedy struck.

John's son, Bill, and Bill's girlfriend were killed in a car accident, leaving their three children, ages 11, 5, and 2, to John and Becky. After paying the funeral expenses, John and Becky had no savings left and were struggling to feed their grandchildren.

John worked with a Fund Manager who helped him sign up for food stamps and enrolled the family in a monthly food pantry program. But it can take weeks from signing up for food stamps to actually receiving them, and the food pantry was still weeks away.

John couldn't wait that long.

With the Emergency Fund's help, John was able to feed his grandchildren until more permanent help was available.

Donate today and help the Emergency Fund be there for people who need help right now.

Content from the Emergency Fund website.

Please, make a donation to the Emergency Fund today. Together we will make the small change that changes lives.

Donate today and your new or increased gift will be matched* by an anonymous donor!

Couch to 5K – A new start!

2011-07-12T01:00:00.000-07:00

Last week I began the Couch to 5K running program. It’s designed to get “couch potatoes”, or people with little-to-no regular exercise, running a 5K (five kilometers) or approximately 3miles, within 2 months. I do have regular exercise, but nothing too strenuous. Monday through Friday, I ride my bike two miles to the train station from my house and I walk a mile from the downtown Chicago train station to my office. Then I walk another mile and bike another two miles going home. Plus dance parties, walking around outside with the kids, riding my bike to the store . . . I’m not completely without exercise. It’s better than nothing, but it’s not making much of an impact. Oh – I have an elliptical machine but I don’t use it as often as I should. I weighed myself recently for the first time in months, and almost cried. I’m my highest weight ever, not counting pregnancies. Not good!

I’ve thought about doing Couch to 5K for a while, so after seeing the number on the scale, I looked up the program and decided to give it a try. The first week is three days of this pattern: you start with 5 minutes of brisk walking, then begin intervals of jogging and walking. You jog for 60 seconds then briskly walk for 90 seconds. You’re supposed to do the jogging/walking for 20 minutes total, which comes out to eight sets of jogging/walking.

My first day, I turned off my alarm. I’d stayed up very late the night before and I don’t operate well with little sleep. So I tried again the next day, and having gotten better sleep, I got up, excited to start. I stretched out a bit and then began my walking and jogging. During my first interval of jogging, I noticed someone walking toward me on the bike path I was on. I felt self-concious about how I looked jogging, and near the end of the minute, long after I’d passed them, I realized that I wasn’t even thinking about forcing myself to keep going, the way I thought I’d feel.

That didn’t last long. I did pretty well through the first half of my intervals and then had to push myself in intervals 5 and 6. And then I wanted to quit! I didn’t want to fail and I didn’t want to have to admit I’d failed (I’d told people I was doing the program) so I made myself slog through the last two intervals. I only ran about 50 seconds of the last two 60-second jogs, but I figure that’s better than quitting altogether. I finished, and felt great. I was dripping sweat and took some time to cool off before getting cleaned up and ready for work.

My second run, two days later, was the opposite. As soon as I started, I wanted to quit. OH MAN I wanted to quit. I told myself, you CAN do this. YOU CAN. And you WILL. And . . . I did! There was even one point where I began my jogging interval, I stopped, began walking, was going to quit, and I said, No, you better do this. This isn’t torture, it’s just jogging, stop acting like you have no strength and can’t deal with something unpleasant! So I started up again, and felt good at the end.

I was talking to my husband about this and remembered when I first started riding my bike to work a few months ago. I was miserable. I felt every incline no matter how slight, every bump. The seat hurt my butt, my legs cramped. Sometimes I got off my bike to push it up hills rather than ride it. This lasted a few weeks and I’m surprised I kept up with it, because it didn’t get much easier during those weeks. I was in lots of pain. Then one day, I got home from work and realized I hadn’t spent the ride home wincing and breathing hard. I was just home all of a sudden. From that day, the pains decreased, my speed and stamina increased, and now I absolutely LOVE riding my bike twice a day. My hope is that running will be this way for me, and I’m going to use this comparison to keep going when it sucks. Yes, it hurts, it sucks, you feel like you’re going to throw up, you feel like you’re just dragging along, your shins hurts . . . it will get better. One day, you might even like it!

Dance Party Friday: Guest Edition

2011-07-08T12:38:00.000-07:00

My friend Alicia from Iowa City is visiting me today while her husband gets a tattoo at the Chicago Tattooing Co. Alicia and I are a couple of those crazy people that knew each other online before meeting in person. She and her husband are about to embark on an exciting adventure - selling all their stuff and traveling the world for a year! Then they're gonna come back and become sheep farmers . . . or something. Anyway, she's in town, we had a yummy lunch and now she gets her very own Dance Party Friday!

Here are her picks . . .we're going with a country/Americana theme. Did I mention it was Alicia who introduced me to the Avett Brothers? Oh yes, it was.

She says this was a major part of her childhood.

This is written by Greg Brown, but these lovely hipsters have the best video of it on YouTube. :)

Here's Marrow, sung (and probably written by) William Elliott Whitmore and Jenny Hoyston - from their Hallways of Always album.

Creepin' In - Dolly Parton and Norah Jones! Alicia just said her band covered this song, it has some "sweet banjo licks" - yes, Alicia plays banjo! Long but endearing intro. Note, this is a song by the late, great June Carter.

Alicia says this is one of her favorite videos of all time, but come on, isn't this one of EVERYONE'S favorite videos? I've seen a great basement party performance of this with Alicia on the banjo . . . wish I could share it with you but it's on facebook lockdown. Alicia loves the camp of this video. Me too!

This is Alicia's friend Katie's band, the Awful Purdies. They have a new album coming out, so Google the heck out of it and buy it! Now.

This one has neat flood pictures, if you like that sort of thing. Which I do. The female vocalist is Alicia's uncle's ex-wife's step-daughter. If you're wondering about Ferris Bueller's health status, she can probably tell you.

Dave Moore is an Iowan artist who plays a mean harp. He is also known to be a swell dude.

Horse Feathers! Alicia just saw them a few weeks ago, she (and the rest of the audience) got to sit on stage with the band for the performance. They also have a Tiny Desk Concert which Alicia says automatically makes them cool.

Great performance in LA's Knitting Factory. Alicia is famous by proxy because last week he gave her a high five. She knows this dude! She & her husband Tony have a design/printing business and they did a really cool concert poster for Will a while back. Check it - and their other wares, out, at Cicada Grove.

The end!!