Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Sometimes It's Good to Make a Plan

Things I Hope To Write About, So Don’t Let Me Forget

Why it’s important to model anti-racist beliefs for your kids, (why it's not enough to just talk about them). How you, as a parent who might live in a racially homogenous area, can develop genuine relationships with people outside of your race. How you can normalize other races for your kids.

Music albums that have made a big impact in my life.

The way we all forgive our favorite public figures more easily (even when they do our most hated thing) than we forgive those we don’t like from the beginning.

Conservative Christians and my frustration with them not calling out their political leaders for doing stuff that is a slap in the face of their faith.

Some of the reasons I am no longer a devout Christian. This one will probably be about the gays.

The Word of Faith movement in Christianity. Spoiler: NOT A FAN.

Me and social media: my journey during the last few years and where I’m headed next.

Monday, February 6, 2012

Library Haul

The Reservoir by John M. Thompson

Review from Amazon: On an early spring morning in Richmond, Virginia, in the year 1885, a young pregnant woman is found floating in the city reservoir. It appears that she has committed suicide, but there are curious clues at the scene that suggest foul play. The case attracts local attention, and an eccentric group of men collaborate to solve the crime. Detective Jack Wren lurks in the shadows, weaseling his way into the investigation and intimidating witnesses. Policeman Daniel Cincinnatus Richardson, on the brink of retirement, catches the case and relentlessly pursues it to its sorrowful conclusion. As the identity of the girl, Lillie, is revealed, her dark family history comes to light, and the investigation focuses on her tumultuous affair with Tommie Cluverius.


Tommie, an ambitious young lawyer, is the pride and joy of his family and the polar opposite of his brother Willie, a quiet, humble farmer. Though both men loved Lillie, it’s Tommie’s reckless affair that thrusts his family into the spotlight. With Lillie dead, Willie must decide how far to trust Tommie, and whether he ever understood him at all. Told through accumulating revelations, Tommie’s story finally ends in a riveting courtroom
climax.


Based on a true story, The Reservoir centers on a guilty and passionate love triangle composed of two very different brothers and one young, naive girl hiding an unspeakable secret. A novel of lust, betrayal, justice, and revenge, The Reservoir ultimately probes the question of whether we can really know the hearts and minds of others, even of those closest to us.

Solomon’s Oak by Jo-Ann Mapson

Review from Amazon: Glory Solomon, a young widow, holds tight to her memories while she struggles to hold on to her Central California farm. She makes ends meet by hosting weddings in the chapel her husband had built under their two-hundred-year-old white oak tree, known locally as Solomon's Oak. Fourteen-year-old Juniper McGuire is the lone survivor of a family decimated by her sister's disappearance. She arrives on Glory's doorstep, pierced, tattooed, angry, and homeless. When Glory's husband Dan was alive, they took in foster children, but Juniper may be more than she can handle alone. Joseph Vigil is a former Albuquerque police officer and crime lab photographer who was shot during a meth lab bust that took the life of his best friend. Now disabled and in constant pain, he arrives in California to fulfill his dream of photographing the state's giant trees, including Solomon's Oak.

In Jo-Ann Mapson's deeply felt, wise, and gritty novel, these three broken souls will find in each other an unexpected comfort, the bond of friendship, and a second chance to see the miracles of everyday life.

Once Upon A QuinceaƱera: Coming of Age in the USA by Julia Alvarez

Review from Amazon: The quinceaƱera, a celebration of a Latina girl’s fifteenth birthday, has become a uniquely American trend. This lavish party with ball gowns, multi-tiered cakes, limousines, and extravagant meals is often as costly as a prom or a wedding. But many Latina girls feel entitled to this rite of passage, marking a girl’s entrance into womanhood, and expect no expense to be spared, even in working-class families. Acclaimed author Julia Alvarez explores the history and cultural significance of the “quince” in the United States, and the consequences of treating teens like princesses. Through her observations of a quince in Queens, interviews with other quince girls, and the memories of her own experience as a young immigrant, Alvarez presents a thoughtful and entertaining portrait of a rapidly growing multicultural phenomenon, and passionately emphasizes the importance of celebrating Latina womanhood.

Beat of a Different Drum: The Untold Stories of African Americans Forging Their Own Paths in Work and Life by Dax-Devlon Ross

Review from Amazon: In a series of insightful, probing interviews, Dax-Devlon Ross gives voice to the less-acknowledged realms of the black experience – and gives us all new role models of courage, iconoclasm, and creativity. Ross, an inner-city schoolteacher who eschewed a career in law, became aware of the need for a book like this one when he came to his own career crossroads. To write it, he crisscrossed the country and even traveled to Europe, talking to black Americans who have stepped outside their comfort zones – and found lives that no one had ever imagined they’d lead. In BEAT OF A DIFFERENT DRUM, you’ll meet:

Lisa Stevens, the zoo curator who cares for the pandas at the National Zoo

Johnathon Lee Iverson, the first black Ringling Brothers Circus ringleader

Jair Lynch, an Olympic athlete and real estate entrepreneur

James McLurkin, an inventor and robotics researcher

Ray Hill, a brewmeister who left a lucrative career to start his own beer company

Uchenna Smith, who, at 25, began running her own school with the KIPP-Sankofa program

Jake Lamar, an expatriate novelist

Mike Ladd, an M.C., producer, and professor

Bill Collins, a former Principal turned sailor turned world-renowned chef

Stacey Barney, a schoolteacher turned book editor

. . . as well as many others, each of whose stories has something unique to teach us about the search for meaning in one’s lifework, and the challenges that we must still face when we march to the beat of a different drum.

What are you reading?

Friday, February 3, 2012

Ron Paul’s Ghost-writer Revealed: It’s the Honey Badger!

A while back in the GOP primary campaign, some of Ron Paul’s old newsletters resurfaced again, which has happened several times as he’s gone through different campaigns. They are nasty things, full of horrid and blatant racist statements (plus a lot of Dude It’s Totally Cool to Stockpile Weapons For Our War Against The Government, Let Me Tell You How To Do It Without The Feds Finding Out pro-militia stuff) and hateful stuff towards homosexuals, people with AIDs, Muslims and more. I realize that I am way late to speak on this – the story is basically dead and it doesn’t seem to matter now anyway because he’s not going to win the GOP nomination. I can’t imagine that he will ever be our President. Still, there is a point that I haven’t seen anyone discuss (or maybe I just haven’t read extensively enough) that I wanted to go into a bit.

A couple of disclaimers –

1) He has acknowledged that others ghost-wrote for him, he made statements of being very saddened by the things that were written in his name, and he has apologized for those things appearing in his newsletters.

2) On a variety of issues (though not on all of them), I agree with Ron Paul. Because of his personality, I used to like Ron Paul. In the last election, I think, I appreciated both Ron Paul and Mike Huckabee for certain things (just like I appreciated Dennis Kucinich, crazy ass Mike Gravel and in the most recent primaries, Hunstman). I like politicians who aren’t 100% party-line and those who seem genuine. I like the guys who aren’t the slickest campaigners.

Having given those disclaimers, here’s why I don’t buy his excuses of ghost-writers-gone-rogue, and I don’t buy his apologies.

If I had a newsletter – the Ashley Ray newsletter – that I wrote sometimes, and that others wrote for sometimes – it would be understandable to assume that what is represented in those newsletters is what I agree with, right? What would happen if someone who was writing on my behalf, unbeknownst to me, wrote some terribly racist things, and then the newsletter was published?

Do you think that the people reading the newsletter would notice?

Do you think that the people who work with and for me would notice?

Do you think someone would think it was odd that suddenly some statements are being published in my newsletter that are 100% contrary to my actual beliefs?

Do you think they would say something to me?

Do you think I would hire someone to write for me that had those sort of beliefs?

If the Ashley Ray newsletter said all those terrible things, I know without a doubt that the people who read it would RUSH to me and want to know what was going on. They would be concerned because obviously I don’t believe those things.

What I think is – Ron Paul employed people who held these beliefs. If he didn’t approve what was written & truly had no knowledge of them beforehand, he employed people whose belief in these things were so strong that they felt bold enough to put them in their employer’s newsletter. That is a really bold thing to do, right?

And after it happened – did readers freak out? I don’t know. Did they contact Ron Paul and tell him they were disgusted with what was written? I don’t know. Did his other employees freak out and alert him? I don’t know.

What I do know is that the newsletters didn’t stop. They went on for YEARS AND YEARS. We’re supposed to believe that issue after issue, there was a perfect storm of:

· Crazy ghost-writers

· Inattentive employees

· Readers who don’t actually read

He had no idea and no one – not his friends, family, employees, community nor supporters thought anything was amiss. If the Ashley Ray newsletter published that bullshit ONCE – I’d have people tripping over themselves to find out what in the world had happened because there is no way the Ashley THEY knew would write something like that. And if it continued, issue after issue? I’d lose my supporters. The people who faithfully read what I write DISAGREE WITH THAT BULLSHIT AND WOULD NOT WANT TO KEEP READING IT. They could no longer, in good conscience, support me.

My guess is – whether he knew about it or not – no one thought it was amiss because it DID represent what he believed. The ghost-writer felt ok saying that stuff because he knew it was what his boss believed. He continued to write it because he was not fired or even told to simply STOP IT. People did not think anything was amiss because HE BELIEVES IT AND THEY BELIEVE IT TOO.

And if somehow, the perfect storm really did happen? Ron Paul needs to find new friends, family, employees, community and supporters.

Monday, January 30, 2012

He's From Kansas, Too

I don't have a lot to say today. I spent the weekend realizing my crush on Jason Sudeikis. Here he is in full glory. Red track suit. Commence daydream makeout session.


I stole this from Laura who stole it from someone else. She has really good taste in men.

Also? Look at Lindsay Buckingham. He is so pissed. "This crap happens EVERY TIME!"

Thursday, January 26, 2012

Oh, LIFE

I just need to document some recent wonkiness:

· Some people I know are upset about something so they decided to create a new email account to have their Secret Angry Discussion. They chose to set up a Yahoo email account. I find that hilarious.

· I watched this short film about women’s bodies after birth, thought about my own issues with my post-baby body and ended up crying at my desk. Yay!

· Student asked to sing at this year’s commencement ceremony and I had to tell her no and she thinks it’s personal and it’s not. It’s logistical. Like Honey Badger, She Really Doesn’t Give A Shit.

· Rude faculty is rude. Again. This time I stood up for myself (professionally and politely, but firmly). I’m so thankful to have a boss who supports me when this stuff goes down.

· Program Chair insists that I am a notary. He is so certain! Nope, I’m not. No, really. I’m not. I’m also not a secretary (a term he is still using) and can I say, President Obama, that I loved your SOTU but why are you still calling people secretaries? I get that it was probably easier to say than “Administrative Assistant” but dude you just gave a bazillion old school executives ammo in their argument with their ADMINISTRATIVE ASSISTANT that they should be able to still call them secretaries.

· Forgot a bowl at home (again) so warmed up my chicken noodle soup in cups . . . and then, in my attempt to transfer the broth of one cup to another, poured it into my coffee.

· I wish my husband didn’t hate social media, he’d be an amazing live-tweeter. You should have heard him during the State Of The Union.

· Today’s post on Handmade Ryan Gosling is super popular. Clearly, crafty ladies of the world like to be told we’re sexy even though we haven’t showered in a couple days.

· Last but surely not least (I’m here another 3 hours so we’ll see what other fun ensues): Downton Abbey tumblrs for you!

o Downton Abbeyonce

o Downton Abbey Lamps

o Arrested Downton

o Downton Pawnee

o Downton A Train

Monday, January 23, 2012

When Going Back to the Land Isn’t an Option

I’ve mentioned a few times on ye olde blogge that a while back, I was very interested in a “natural” lifestyle. Heck, even over in my profile bio on the right, I mention that in my daydreams, I live on a ranch. Well, a few years ago, from around 2006 to 2008, wanting to live a “back to the land” lifestyle was a very strong desire of mine.

Recently an online friend blogged about something similar – seeing the positive qualities in a simpler life, a more natural life, a slower lifestyle. She admitted that she probably romanticized it but that it still looked appealing. I noticed many commenters agreeing, saying they felt the same way. I jokingly commented that she sounded like I did, a few years ago. She responded and asked what I did about it, and here’s what I told her:

I made certain small changes to our lifestyle, and honestly, I kind of grew out of it because it wasn't a dream that was to become a reality for me anytime soon. :/

My husband wasn't interested (especially in the back-to-the-land stuff - he's a city/suburbs guy) so without buy-in from him, it wasn't going to happen, you know? And because of that I just kind of let it go and began focusing on other things. I get my "fix" in other ways - spending more time outside, eating better, doing creative things with the kids, watching Frontier House on PBS, ha!

Something I've noticed about myself is that I will get really gung ho about something that interests me, and I'll think that I need to change my whole life to look like whatever that interest is. What I'm still learning is that maybe "tweaks" are what I really need. Maybe I don't need to homeschool and make all my food from scratch and raise chickens and live on a farm sustained with electricity from our windmill and become a midwife . . . maybe what I'm feeling is really a pull to spend more time with my kids on what they're learning from this world . . . make better food choices and start a container garden . . . cut costs and make eco friendly choices in my suburban townhouse . . . tell my friends about great pregnancy and birth resources and let them know I'm available with a non-judgmental ear if they need to vent or need advice. Maybe I can use my interest to advocate on behalf of people who need a lot more of these things in their lives but have even less access than I do - people who live in food deserts, people who have only ever been told that birth is a terrifying, painful thing to leave up to a hospital staff, people who have so little chance to visit a zoo or forest or farm, or even just a park.

I'm still interested in all those things and love to see, read, hear, talk about them . . . but in their full-blown form they don't work for me. Doesn't mean I can't incorporate some of their important principles and aspects into my life!

Do you do this? Do you get really excited about something, learn a lot about it, and think you must change your whole lifestyle to be happy? Have you actually done it? If so, how did it work out? Are you like me – it takes a while but eventually you understand that perhaps a radical change isn’t in order, but smaller changes are?

What are things you thought you needed, and it turned out maybe you just needed to make some tweaks?

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Why I Must Never Divorce

(29 years ago, wait, what, 29 years? 29? I was walking around and eating solid foods that many years ago?) - My first boyfriend was in kindergarten. We went to the same daycare so between it and school, we were with each other for hours each day.

There was an area in our classroom set up to play house. He and I sat on the (toy) bed, it broke, I used to tell this story as thought it was a dirty joke when I was a few years older, what is wrong with me.

We were playing hide and seek and he kissed me. He told me he would give me his sister’s Barbie house and car. He moved away.

(22 years ago) - I saw him at a pizza place in 6th grade. He didn’t notice me and I was glad. And mad.

(20 years ago) - I saw him in 8th grade at someone’s graduation. He didn’t notice me and I was just mad. I was really cute that day.

(17 years ago) - He came to my high school our junior year, we never spoke. I did glare at his locker a couple times. Surely.

(6 years ago) - I helped plan our 10-year high school reunion. We started an online community and he participated and had no idea who I was. I figured making a scene might discourage people from attending and I reminded myself that the *internet is forever*.

 

 

 

 

 

Nod to Melissa Beck for the *reminder*.

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